I WAS BURNT 🔥 OUT...here’s what I did (+ am doing) about it...

May 15

In today’s post we’ll chat thru…

① Friendly REMINDER- our FIRST SISTERHOOD RETREAT is OPEN FOR ENROLLMENT!
② Opening up about my walk with burnout
③ Sharing 5 things I’ve been doing (+ still am!) to live beyond burnout.

LET’S DIVE IN. 🖤

Today’s conversation is so uncomfy to have and to admit but it’s also SO FREAKING NECESSARY. We’re talking burnout and more specifically I’m gonna walk you thru some vulnerable pieces of my battle with burnout + recovery and all the things I’ve been doing behind the scenes…but before I get to that I want to remind you about the VERY FIRST SISTERHOOD RETREAT. Yes. We’re having a RETREAT ya’ll. It’s something YOU have been asking for and we’re making it happen in a very intimate way with 10 women and a weekend full of workshops, breath work, cold plunges, yoga, beach walks, and just a lot of girl time. My heart is for you to walk away with a renewed sense of purpose, an aligned connection to yourself, and a focused path to make progress towards her when you get home. If you’re looking for a girls weekend meets self care meets igniting a FIRE INSIDE OF YOU to make moves in your life + get after those things that have been on your heart…you’ve got to hurry up and grab a spot for our VERY FIRST SISTERHOOD RETREAT. It’s here in Tampa FL, August 30th - Sept 2nd and all the details + link to grab your spot are on my website - www.inspirebeautybritt.com/retreat OR you can DM me on Instagram with any q’s and I’m happy to help. Just wanted to pop in and share that FIRST bc the spots are going to go and once the 10 fill up I won’t have space until I announce the next retreat.

Okay…let’s talk BURN OUT.

One of the top episodes of ALL TIME on the podcast is episode number 22 where we talked about SELF CARE STRATEGIES for BURNOUT. And it’s not hard to see why ya’ll are moved to press play on an episode like that (or even this) - a lot of ya’ll I connect with who listen in to the podcast share something in common - we have so much demanding for our time and attention. The loads you carry, the responsibilities you have, the endless to-do lists, the numerous roles you play, all of the people you take care of...and then pair that with the large amount of pressure we place on ourselves to do everything well…I’m exhausted just thinking about it.

We live in a time when burn out is on the RISE ya’ll. And bc it’s been a hot minute since we’ve touched the topic, I wanted to revisit the conversation with some reminders that I’m hoping help you walk away with some clarity about how freaking MUCH you are doing and how THAT might just point back to why you’re feeling really freaking tired, overwhelmed, or in full blown burnout. And not just clarity but I also want to get tangible, right? Bc I love being able to walk away from something I’m inspired by and actually DO something with it, ya know?

But real talk and a little back story. Everything I’m sharing with you has come from my trenches of facing burnout in my own journey. And this is hard to talk about. When I look back I can see times when the cycle of burnout has kind of taken of my life and my most recent bout with burnout was actually about the time this podcast started. Towards the tail end of working as a fitness coach in the MLM space i began facing debilitating burnout. I spent ten years building a business that was a freaking DREAM of mine ya’ll. But the reality behind closed doors was that I was in tears most days. I was so freaking hard on myself…like nothing was ever good enough. The goals felt like they never stopped. Every month in the particular company I partnered with, we started right back at ground zero. It created a 30 day hustle mentality and I never felt like I could come up for air or take a break. I pushed and pushed and left zero room for margin, vacations, time away, etc. I beat my body up bc it was a billboard for my business. And I got to a place where I couldn’t sleep at night but yet I was so freaking tired - mentally, emotionally, physically. I would get jaded and super resentful on the inside when on the outside what I truly wanted to do was build a thriving community where women didn’t do life alone. I would get sick every year in December as the year wound down and my body had had enough. And you guys I’m sharing all of this bc there were A LOT of red flags and signs.

But I was honestly really too proud to stop. And I was really freaking worried about what everyone else would think of me if I couldn’t “do it all” (Man…we’ll get to that today, bc this is a much needed convo).

And ya’ll.. I had to claw my way out of burnout once I laid that business down. Like truthfully when this space began I was at the end of myself. And TBH…they’re times when it feels like I’m STILL clawing my way out bc the body keeps score and IDK if this resonates, but it’s almost EASIER for me to gravitate into burnout and stress bc as much as it’s not healthy, it actually feels FAMILIAR for my body. Calm. Peace. Relaxation. Those are a little more foreign for a recovering hustle culture addict. But I’m learning that I don’t want burnout to rule my life. I don’t want exhausted and busy and overwhelmed and all the other things I shared to be my norm. I want to live a different way. So after facing this last round of extreme burnout I’ve been trying a lot of different things. Experimenting with a new pace and a new rhythm and I want to share what I’ve been doing with you in hopes that it speaks to the spaces of your life where you’ve been hustling and running and going with no true end in sight.

So today is a little honest. A little vulnerable. And, like I said, what I’ve been doing in real time to battle the tendency to fall back into burnout patterns. Let’s dive in. 🖤

I TWEAKED MY PHYSICAL SELF CARE ROUTINE.

The first area that demanded my attention was how I was taking care of my body. Now. Here’s the thing. From the outside it probably looked like this was a solid space in my life. And it was. As a fitness coach I moved my body regularly. I was very in tune with my nutrition. I drank the water. I had the muscles. But from the inside, my body was a billboard for my business and so the way I treated her was as if she was a business partner. It wasn’t always love and kindness. There was a lot of expectation I set on myself to look a certain way. And to show up with very few breaks.

This. Is. Not. Healthy.

Part of my journey in this area is healing the relationship I have with my physical self care and my body. We talk about this in this space OFTEN and I probably won’t shut up about it anytime soon, but movement is medicine my friends. It’s not something I’ll ever stop doing if I can help it bc it’s so therapeutic for me and my favorite way to release + generate energy. The way I was moving before created MORE PRESSURE and MORE STRESS in my life and so now I’m looking at it almost all differently. - as a way to release the stress and love on my body. It’s a hard mindset flip and so it’s the one I’m starting with bc I feel like you can relate with me on the pressure aspect when it comes to movement. But when we can look at our movement as a way to close out the stress cycle loop that inevitably we face all day every day, the better we will feel.

And I’ve talked before about the stress cycle loop but think of it like this. Your stress is caused by the stressors in your life. It could be a deadline at work, a toddler who refuses to sleep, a messy house, an ill family member, a rushed morning when your alarm didn’t go off, or a friend who won’t call you back and you worry you did something wrong…small stuff, big stuff…stressors don’t discriminate. The second we have a stressor happen in our life the stress cycle begins in our bodies. This is NORMAL. But the problem is, most of us don’t CLOSE THE LOOP of the cycle so our bodies become trapped in a constant state of overwhelm day in and day out. This piles up friends. And this is exactly where I found myself even though I was moving my body. MOVEMENT…caring for our PHYSICAL BODIES is a KEY WAY to release the stress and close the stress cycle loop. Moving that energy thru your body so it doesn’t get stuck in your body.

So I can’t just stop moving. That’s not me. But I’ve had to look at my relationship with it and start finding new ways to move that are loving and kind. I love the daily walks we do on the trail behind our house. Or beach walks at sunset. Yoga at this new studio I found here in Tampa. My husband Charlie bought me a bike for Christmas and doing longer bike rides to fun places like the park, the beach, breweries, baseball games. It’s just been FUN. I’ve also leaned into cycle syncing my workouts so that I am not so demanding on my body all month long. And I’ve played around with different fitness apps beyond the one I used to promote so I can experience other voices, other styles, other trainers. And it’s been so so good.

But it doesn’t end there. Often when we consider our physical bodies we think of movement and fitness as the end goal. This was me in my burnout era. But owning and understanding the delicate dance with rest + recovery is essential and it’s a dance I’m doing right now.

Before…I didn’t stop. And with the business model I had and new workout programs launching and all the things…there was never really a good time to slow down. This had to change when I stepped away. Almost immediately I stopped doing intense workouts and started walking and doing yoga only as my methods for movement. My body and nervous system needed that. And now, I track my recovery, my sleep, my cycle using the Oura ring so I can honor where my body is at and give her what she needs. And friends, more often than not that’s naps and rest and more sleep.

So the first space I really looked at was my physical self care.

I STOPPED TRYING TO DO IT ALL.

But then I had to take a good look at the load I was carrying and get honest about how much that really was. One of the recurring themes whenever I come face to face with burnout is that I hold independent woman..this “I’ll do it myself” kinda attitude...as a badge of honor. It’s kinda my red flag that I’m leaning into burnout.

But here’s what you’ve gotta know. I’m a self starter. I’m a problem solver. I’m a fixer. And I’m an internal processor so the wheels are constantly spinning, ya know? All great qualities on their own, right? But when you combine them together you get a woman who carries all the weight of all the world when she was never asked to do so. And this weight becomes crushing. Can you relate?

Sometimes it’s bc we think no one can do it the way we can.

Sometimes it’s bc it’s flat out easier to do it ourselves than explain it for the millionth time.

Sometimes we’re internally creating a rat race for ourselves…to keep up with the proverbial Jone’s ya know?

And sometimes…and this one feels like a punch in the gut so brace yourself…we wear all this weight and do all these things ourselves as a protection from being hurt or disappointed.

I say all of this with so much love bc I walked all of this. Shoot I walk it out STILL. I’m a recovering YES WOMAN, meaning it’s more comfortable for me to say YES to everyone and everything than it is to turn someone down. I fear I’ll miss out on opportunities and maybe even my one shot. Which sounds so silly when I say it out loud, but we’re being real today.

Saying YES to everything led me to overextending myself all the time.

Being jaded at others bc I felt like I was “doing it all” and they weren’t helping (even though…let’s be real, I wasn’t giving them room to help).

And honestly…I’ve had seasons where I’ve fallen straight up ILL bc my body + mind are like “NOPE we’re done.”

Doing it all is a recipe for exhaustion and ultimately burnout.

So what do women who don’t do it all do? This is kinda what I’ve had to explore and work thru in my own life. What I’ve found is…

They delegate.

They ask for help.

They talk to others + get honest in their conversations.

They share the journey with others vs walking the road alone.

And they also humble themselves.

This was (IS) a huge one for me. I had to come to terms that it doesn’t always have to be done how I would do it for it to be good enough. I’m learning that other people have gifts and talents and skills that THEY were born with, so I don’t rob them of the opportunity to use those and I allow THEM to shine those outward instead of steeling the limelight. I’ve been reminding myself that YES…I can do anything I set my mind to, but (and this is huge) I can’t do everything. And I think the biggest lesson I’m learning in laying down the weight of having to carry it all is that when you say YES to one thing, you’re inevitably saying NO to everything else. When I say YES to a speaking engagement, I’m saying NO to my husband that night. When you say YES to the bake sale (do they still do those?!), you’re saying NO to rest that you need. When you start to look at what the NO is, it’s really eye opening and helps me protect my YES that much more.

I’M PRACTICING BOUNDARIES + HONORING MY CAPACITY.

This is a perfect segway bc when you free yourself from having to “do it all” you simultaneously come to terms with what boundaries ARE or ARE NOT in place in your life and your capacity for what you can actually give your YES to.

I used to be the woman who had NO BOUNDARIES and didn’t honor or even notice her capacity. I honestly believed that coffee + preworkout could handle my extreme exhaustion from every single YES I was giving of myself.

Are you this way? Saying YES to everything? Powering thru bc they “need you?”

The most humble moment of my life was when I moved from Miami to the Bay Area in CA and left the classroom and the teams I used to coach in the performing arts world. At that time in my life I gave every single YES to teaching and coaching. I never missed a day of school unless it was for a competition. I never missed a rehearsal unless I had a school commitment. I stayed late. I got there early. I agreed to all the extras. Bc my ego told me they “needed me.” that if I weren’t there they wouldn’t be able to function as well.

And then I left.

And everyone functioned just fine without me. My students went on to graduate and do so well for themselves in college. My teaching position was replaced immediately for the next school year. And in fact, the groups I coached thrived without me. But I think the worst part for my ego was that the people who I thought “needed me” so bad in hindsight actually took advantage of me for all those years. And it’s not their fault. I allowed them to take advantage of me bc I lacked boundaries.

Friends I didn’t know boundaries. And I didn’t know my own capacity. And I ended up completely burnt out and jaded after all of that time.

Boundaries protect YOU so you can be your BEST for others.

And capacity allows you to KNOW HOW MUCH YOU CAN DO before you’re on E.

Knowing this helps you show up for the people + purposes that matter most to you for the LONG HAUL.

So what does this look like in my journey these last few years?

Well. Boundaries are mine to establish. And boundaries aren’t just between you and your neighbor or mother-in-law or coworker. Boundaries for me look like where is my energy being sucked?! And when I asked myself this, the answer was in two places: my phone + my work. When I’m dipping into an overwhelmed, burned out sorta state I tend to spend more time scrolling and my work hours blend heavily into my life hours. The lines get really blurred and it’s become an opportunity for me to establish some boundaries. So a few things that are helping me:

Putting my phone to bed in a different room. I don’t sleep near my phone. I have a special phone dock that I bought on Amazon that sits in my office and around 7pm I put it to bed and I don’t pick it up until it’s time to work the next day.
I also set time limits on my apps and I regularly check my phone/app usage to see how many hours per day I’m spending on it.
My planner has been a game changer for me. Really looking at my BIG GOALS and how those fit into the smaller weeks of the month…giving myself bite size chunks daily. It’s taken so much of the pressure off of always having to be in ON / HUSTLE mode. I’m fortunate bc I was able to break up with the business model my previous company had where my goals + benchmarks were on a month to month cycle and I’ve given more space and margin to breathe. Now I work more in the quarters with a focus and this is so much more breathable for me.

I’M LEANING INTO MY PM ROUTINE ERA.

I think this segways perfectly into this next area I’ve been tapping into and it’s my PM ROUTINE. I’m leaning into my PM ROUTINE ERA and I’m not even mad. And the biggest reason is bc the evenings can be the easiest time where I numb out or zone out or my mind just doesn’t put work mode down, ya know?

I’ve preached forever about establishing morning routines, but my morning routine got to a place where it was the total opposite of energizing and calming and TBH there was a time where I stopped showing up to it bc it just wasn’t filling me the same way. I want to acknowledge that THIS is also normal. When seasons change, when life shifts…often our routines need a little makeover or revamping alongside of that.

Instead of beating myself up I got curious about what I needed. And in this season I’ve needed a lot more rest. Coming out of burnout wasn’t like get one good night of sleep and I’ll be fine. It was like…I constantly have to monitor my rest. And the best place to start honoring that was with romanticizing my evening routine.

Making it something vibey and calming and like an exhale from the day. But also, not treading on the line of numbing out at the end of the day as a means to exhale, either. This has looked like:

Putting my phone to bed + changing into my jammies.
Usually at that point I play with the dogs while my husband and I catch an episode or two of our current fave show.
Then I do a quick tidy sweep of the house. Dog toys put away. Fold blankets and reset the living area. Dishes out of the sink and in the dishwasher. Counters in the kitchen wiped down.
After this is done I set out my workout clothes for the morning. I refill my water and have it ready in the fridge. And I set my morning stack (my journal, current book, bible study or devo, and my laminated vision board) in the living room. And then I start my PM skin care routine, which I LOVE bc I’ve never really one had before and IDK..it’s been kinda fun.
At this point I get in bed and read a fiction book to help my mind can get off of all things growth and self care and work. And while I read I sip on what I call my “midnight mocktail” which is a blend of my FAVE magnesium from GutPersonal frothed with tart cherry juice and strawberry vanilla OliPop.

I’ve thoroughly LOVED this routine and it’s helped me disconnect from a lot of the stress + pressure I tend to put on myself and lean more into my family and being present with the ones I love, including myself.

I’M CREATING A LIFE OUTSIDE OF WORK.

Okay and last. Speaking of disconnect from stress and pressure…can I be honest and say most of the stress and pressure I place on myself comes from work. And what’s wild is I am my own boss and sometimes I can be the worst boss to myself.

I’m embarrassed admitting this but work has been the main thing. Work goals have been the main thing. Achieving some form of career success has been the main thing. And everything else has come second to that. I’m a person that cares so deeply about my calling and what I give and put out into the world, but I’ve found myself making my calling my idol. The thing I wake up and obsess over and bow down to and sacrifice for. And it’s left me really really drained.

So in this season I’m creating a life OUTSIDE of what I do for work.

And I highly suggest thinking about who you are outside of WORK. Shoot…or being a mom…or the comparison doom scroll you do on your phone. Ooooh did I hit a nerve with that one? Here’s the thing and it’s what I have to remind myself…you were SOMEONE before you had that job. And you’ll still BE SOMEONE even when that job goes away. Friends. You were SOMEONE before you had kids. And you’ll still BE SOMEONE when they grow up and you shove them out into the world. You were SOMEONE with a gift and calling and a unique mark on your life before you scrolled social today and the comparison of that scroll might’ve convinced you to think otherwise. So hear me -

YOU ARE SOMEONE BEYOND YOUR JOB.

YOU ARE SOMEONE BEYOND BEING THEIR MOM.

YOU ARE SOMEONE BEYOND WHAT SALLY ON SOCIAL IS DOING.

What is YOUR LIFE LIKE outside of those spaces? What is the identity you carry? This one is HAAAARRRRD for me friends. Bc time and time again I place my identity and worth in things like my work, or social comparison, or even the fact that I’m not a mom yet and so what’s my identity as a woman if I don’t ever get that name?

But here’s what I know. The times when I’m MOST overwhelmed, tired, burnt out, or just flat out low are the times when I start creating my identity out of things that aren’t constant.

Your job might not always be there. So who are you without it?

Your kids aren’t always gonna need you. So who are you beyond that?

Your life isn’t found in a feed. So what are you doing to LIVE IT while you get the chance?

I don’t have the easy answers on this one. But I can tell you this. Consider these questions. And then fight for this friends. Bc there’s nothing worse than building WHO YOU ARE + the WORTH YOU CARRY on something that can slip away at any moment.

So. Whew. That was a lot, but I truly hope in my openness and honesty that you can see the behind the scenes view of what it really takes to live life BEYOND BURNOUT. To heal from the things that take you to hustle. To pause and slow down without guilt. To mend relationships with yourself and others. It’s work friends. But it’s what we do in this space and I can’t wait to hear how this is speaking to you or how you’re choosing to apply it to your own life + journey. Be sure to share this episode on your social bc you never know who else in your circle is in desperate need of the kinds of conversations we have here and tag me so I can see what you’re loving + learning along the way bc that’s seriously my fave part.

I’m rooting for you. And I can’t wait to see you back here next time on The SELF CARE Sisterhood Podcast. 🖤🤟🏼

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