This Mindset Trick Will Help You Stay on Track đ§đ«đ (perfectionism not required)
Ever feel like youâre either all in or all out when it comes to your habits, routines, or goals? Youâre not alone! đ€ In this episode, Iâm sharing a simple but powerful mindset shiftâwhat I call The Marble Jar Mentalityâthat I used as an elementary school teacher to bring structure, accountability, and an overarching sense of progress into my classroom. And guess what? It works just as well for adults! This approach will help you stay on track, build momentum, and trust yourself moreâwithout needing to be perfect.
IN THIS POST, WE CHAT ABOUT:
â» What perfectionism is stealing from you
â» How treating your progress like a marble jar will keep you motivated
â» The secret to staying on track even when life gets messy
â» How to rebuild self-trust after breaking promises to yourself
â» Simple ways to start applying this todayâwithout the all-or-nothing mindset
LETS DIVE IN đ€
Hello hello friends! And welcome back to The Self-Care Sisterhood podcast. Today I want to share a concept that has radically shaped my relationship with motivation, progress, and how I keep going when I honestly feel like throwing in the towel. And if this has been a season where you question yourself a lot with things like âis showing up even worth it?â or âwhy is it taking so long to achieve the dreams laid on my heart?âŠâ I know youâre gonna resonate.
But before I get to all of that, I have an exciting announcementâSpring in The Sisterhood Membership is HEREEEE and youâre going to want to join by March 2nd so you donât miss a thing!
This seasonâs theme, Spring Refresh: Letting Go of Mental, Physical, and Emotional Clutter, is all about creating spaceâinside and outâto reconnect with your priorities and build a foundation for growth. And Iâm not just talking about tidying upâIâm giving you real tools and resources to help you:
â» Clear physical clutter and transform your spaces into calm, inspiring environments that support your goals
â» Release mental distractions and create space for clarity, focus, and intentional action
â» Let go of emotional weights, like guilt or resentment, and make room for joy and connection
â» Build habits and routines that align with your priorities and protect your energy
â» Simplify your approach to life, reducing overwhelm and making space for what truly matters
Youâre going to gain so much growth this season⊠and growth?! It looks so good on you. đȘŽ
If youâve been craving a fresh startâone that feels intentional, nourishing, and totally doableâthis is your invitation to join us. Donât miss the chance to reset, refresh, and realign with a community thatâs cheering you on.
Now, letâs get into todayâs episodeâŠ
This concept that I want to share todayâŠthe one that helped me shape a healthy relationship with motivation, progress, and my overall journey?! Itâs The Marble Jar Mentality. And my favorite thing about it, is that itâs a mindset shift that has empowered me to become my best self without letting things like perfectionism hold me back.
It actually stems from my days as an elementary school teacher and the concept is super simpleâ In my classroom, I had a marble jar. Every time the class worked together, followed through on what we agreed upon, or demonstrated kindness and responsibility, weâd add marbles to the jar. But when things werenât aligningâif there was disrespect, chaos, or a lack of effortâ weâd take marbles out. The goal was simple: fill the jar and earn a collective reward. Iâm sure youâve probably heard of this concept or seen it played out in your elementary school days, too. Itâs not really anything that profoundâ but thatâs the thing about so much that we talk about in this spaceâŠitâs the SMALL STUFF that becomes the BIG STUFF. You see, what I didnât realize at the time was that this simple system, it wasnât just applicable to rules and rewards in an elementary school settingâ itâs exactly how life + our journeys work, too.
You see, the marble jar wasnât just about building trust + habits in my classroom. It became this powerful reminder for me that small, consistent actions lead to something bigger over time. But hereâs where things get trickyâŠ
In life, we donât always give ourselves the same grace. Instead of adding marbles little by little, celebrating the progress, and trusting that small steps add upâwe expect ourselves to go from empty jar to overflowing overnight. And when we donât? We quit. We convince ourselves that if we canât be perfect, weâve already failed, so why even bother.
Yaâll. This is where perfectionism is costing us so so much without us even really realizing it.
THE COST OF PERFECTIONISM:
Perfectionism promises us control, certainty, and successâbut in reality, it costs us everything that actually matters. When we buy into the all-or-nothing mentality, we set impossible standards for ourselves, believing that if we canât do something perfectly, itâs not worth doing at all. But hereâs the truth: Perfectionism is a thief. It robs us of three very important pieces of our journey:
â It steals our progress. Instead of taking small, imperfect steps forward, we stay stuckâwaiting until we feel âreadyâ or until conditions are âjust right.â We convince ourselves that unless we can go all in and do it all perfect right out of the gate, we might as well not try. And in doing so, we rob ourselves of growth. So it steals our progress.
⥠It steals our joy. Think about it. With perfectionâ nothing is ever âgood enough.â Even when we accomplish something, we immediately see where we could have done better, where we fell short, where we didnât measure up, or the next thing we need to chase. Instead of celebrating, we criticize. Instead of being present, we strive for more. And this robs us of the joy we could be having in the journeyâŠalong the way.
âą It steals our relationships. You might think that perfectionism to just about you and holding yourself to impossible standards. But what Iâve realized is that it holds others to them too. It makes it hard to connect, hard to trust, hard to let people see the real us, because we fear that if weâre anything less than perfect, we wonât be worthy of love and belonging. And it makes us super judgey of others who arenât chained to perfection the way we are. So itâs slowly eroding our relationships.
⣠And worst of all? Perfectionism steals our peace. It keeps us exhausted, overwhelmed, and anxious. It tells us that rest is lazy. That mistakes arenât something that happenâthey become things we embody about ourselves. But life isnât all or nothing. The things that matterâfriendship, growth, fulfillment, loveâarenât built in a single, flawless moment. Theyâre built through small, consistent actions over time.
So what if, instead of striving for perfection, we chose progress? What if, instead of waiting until we could do something perfectly, we justâŠIDKâŠstarted? What if we gave ourselves permission to be messy, to learn, to grow?
Because the truth is, success isnât about doing everything perfectly. Itâs about showing upâimperfectly, consistently, bravely. And that? That changes everything. So letâs chat about the marble jar and how you can apply this to your journey.
Every Choice is a Marble
I want you to start thinking more about your CHOICES and less about your actual goals. Every single day, we make choices. Some of those choices align with the life we want and some pull us further from it. The marble jar mentality is at play, do you see it? Every time we make the choices in the direction of our desiresâ marbles in. And every time we make a choice that isnât in alignmentâ marbles out. This is so freeing, yaâll. Bc the key is not perfection but consistently adding more marbles in than we take out. You can stop beating yourself up for the one night you ate a little poorly or when you woke up and just couldnât get yourself to do the workout. Itâs one marble. Itâs not the whole jar.
Think about your habits, your behaviors, your routinesâŠthe way you show up for yourself and others. When you prioritize rest, nourishment, movement, and meaningful workâmarbles in. When you let self-doubt, procrastination, or unhealthy patterns take the leadâmarbles out. Itâs not about beating yourself up over every removed marble; itâs about the bigger picture.
The question I want you to start considering is this: AM I putting in more marbles than IâM removing?
And if not, how can you shift that asap?
Small, Consistent Actions Create Big Results
So often, we think we need massive action to change our lives, but itâs really the small, daily choices that build momentum, right? And this applies to so many areas of life.
Want to get healthier? Itâs not about what you do once in awhile. The gym once a month. The week where you ate only salads and then binged fast food bc you were feeling so deprived. Marathon naps on the weekend bc you scroll too much on weeknights. No. Every nourishing meal, every workout, every extra hour of sleep is a marble in.
Want to build a stronger community? Itâs not about showing up for others when itâs convenient for you. This isnât building trust. Every time you check in on a friend, show up, or engage with others, youâre adding marbles.
Want to grow your career? Itâs not about hustling when you have a dream only to burn yourself out. Every skill you refine, every challenge you face, every time you push yourself a little furtherâmarbles in.
We donât need to be perfect. We just need to keep making choices that add to the jar.
Grace for the Days You Lose Marbles
But what about when you get it wrong? What about the days when you donât do the thing and itâs a marbles out kinda moment? First of all. Letâs be realânone of us get it right all the time. So itâs not uncommon that you will slip up. But second. Shame and guilt really have no space in this arena bc when you adopt the marble jar mentality, you can choose at ANY moment to put a marble back in.
Letâs talk about being healthierâ Itâs not about one bad meal or missing a workout. The late-night snack that didnât align with your goals. The week where stress took over, and you barely moved your body. The snooze button winning more times than not. No single misstep empties the jar. What matters is getting back to the small, consistent choices that put marbles back in.
Letâs talk about building communityâ Itâs not about the one time you forgot to text back or had to cancel plans. Life happens. But if you disappear when things get hard or only show up when it benefits you, marbles start coming out. Relationships need steady deposits of trust, effort, and care. The good news? You can always rebuild by showing up with consistency and honesty.
Letâs talk about your careerâ Itâs not about failing at something new or hitting a season of burnout. Maybe you took on too much and had to step back. Maybe you made a mistake at work that knocked your confidence. But one setback doesnât mean you empty the whole jar. Every lesson learned, every moment you choose growth over giving upâthatâs how you put the marbles back in.
The marble jar isnât about perfection. Itâs about patterns. About trusting that small efforts, done consistently, will always outweigh the moments we get it wrong. Grace isnât just something we give othersâitâs something we have to learn to give ourselves, too. Some days, marbles will come out. Thatâs life. Youâll have a tough day, fall back into old habits, or make a choice that doesnât align with your bigger vision. But instead of letting it derail you, recognize that one removed marble doesnât undo all the others youâve put in. The goal is progress, not perfection. And the beauty of the Marble Jar Mentality is that you always have the power to add more marbles tomorrow.
Donât Forget to Celebrate When the Jar is Filled
And what about when the jar starts filling up? When the work, the consistency, and the small efforts start to add up? We donât just keep pushing forward without acknowledging the progressâwe celebrate.
Letâs talk about your healthâ Itâs not just about reaching the goal weight or running the race. Celebrate along the way. The morning you wake up feeling energized. The time you choose movement because it makes you feel good, not just to check a box. The moments you listen to your body and honor what it needsâthose are marbles worth celebrating.
Letâs talk about your friendshipsâ Itâs not just about having a full calendar or a big group of friends. Celebrate the little wins. The deep conversation that made you feel seen. The coffee date that left you lighter. The friend who trusts you enough to call when they need support. These are the moments that show youâve built something real.
Letâs talk about your careerâ Itâs not just about the big promotion or the business milestone. Celebrate the breakthroughs. The skill that once felt impossible but now comes naturally. The challenge you faced head-on. The confidence youâve built along the way. Every step forward is proof that the marbles are stacking up.
Because the goal isnât just to fill the jarâitâs to recognize how much youâve already poured into it. To see the progress, honor the work, and remind yourself that the journey itself is worth celebrating. When I realized that the PRIZE was actually ENJOYING THE PROCESSâŠwell that changed everything. It was less about the jar getting to capacity and more about enjoying myself along the wayâ even if I havenât âarrived.â Bc this is LIFE, yaâll. And you donât get a redo to enjoy it all over again if you forgot.
As we land this plane today, hereâs the most important thing I want you to remember: the goal isnât to have a perfect jarâitâs to keep adding more marbles than you take out. Some days, youâll be filling that jar with ease. Other days, life will happen, and youâll lose a few. But the beauty of this mindset is that no single choice, no single moment, defines your entire journey. Isnât that freeing?
Youâre no longer âstarting overâ every time you have a setback. Youâre simply continuing the process, picking up where you left off, one choice at a time. Progress is built in the small, steady steps, in the daily decisions that stack up over time.
So as you move forward, I want you to ask yourself: Am I adding more marbles than Iâm removing? And if the answer is noâthen whatâs one small, doable step you can take today to shift that balance?
You donât need to be perfect. You just need to keep going. One marble at a time.
And friend, if youâre looking for support as you embrace this mindset and build a life that feels aligned, nourishing, and full of momentumâThe Sisterhood Membership is here for you. Spring is the perfect season for a reset, and weâre diving deep into letting go of the clutterâmentally, physically, and emotionallyâso you can create space for what truly matters. If that sounds like exactly what you need, donât wait. Join us by March 2nd, and letâs do this work together.
Until next time, keep adding those marbles. Keep showing up. And know that Iâm cheering you on every step of the way. Iâll see you next week on The Self Care Sisterhood Podcast.
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