Stop Letting Life Control You— 5 Things You Can Control Right Now 👊
Ever feel like life is happening to you rather than for you? It’s easy to focus on everything that’s outside of our control—but when we do, we give away our power. The truth is, you have more agency than you think. In this post, we’re breaking down the five key things you do have control over—so you can stop feeling stuck and start creating a life that aligns with the person you want to be. If you’re ready to take your power back, this one’s for you.
IN THIS POST WE TALK ABOUT:
✻ How to shift from feeling powerless to feeling in control
✻ The 5 core areas where your choices shape your reality
✻ Why small, intentional decisions matter more than big, dramatic changes
✻ How to stop wasting energy on what you can’t control
✻ A gut-check moment that will change the way you respond to life
LET’S DIVE IN 🖤
Hello Hello, Sisterhood! Welcome back to another episode of The SELF CARE Sisterhood.
When I kick off every season of the Sisterhood Membership, and anytime I work with women one-on-one, the very first thing we talk about is what we actually have control over. And there’s a good reason for that.
Because here’s the thing—it’s so easy to focus on what’s out of our control. The unexpected curveballs, other people’s choices, circumstances that feel stacked against us. And when we do that? We start to feel powerless. Stuck. Like life is just happening to us.
But what if I told you… you have more agency than you think?
When we shift our focus from what we can’t control to what we can, everything changes. We take our power back. We stop feeling like we’re waiting for life to get easier or for things to magically fall into place, and instead, we start building lives we don’t need to escape from. Lives that feel aligned, intentional, and full.
So today, we’re breaking it down. The five things that are always within your control—no matter what’s happening around you. Because when you learn to own these? You become unstoppable.
In this episode, we’re diving into:
✅ How to reclaim your energy and focus on what actually matters
✅ The small, daily choices that shape how you feel and show up
✅ Why your mindset and responses hold more power than your circumstances
✅ The way tiny shifts in your habits and thoughts can lead to massive change
If you’ve been feeling overwhelmed, stuck, or like life is running you instead of the other way around—this episode is for you. Let’s take our power back.
The Core List –
1. HOW YOU SHOW UP FOR YOURSELF
(Your habits, self-care, how you speak to yourself, boundaries, and the grace you give yourself.)
This one is huge because at the end of the day, no one can do this for you. You are responsible for your well-being. How you care for yourself, how you speak to yourself, the standards you set for your life—it all starts with you.
👉 Gut check: If someone spoke to you the way you speak to yourself, would you be okay with it?
We spend so much time uplifting and encouraging others, but what about the voice inside our own heads? The way we treat ourselves sets the foundation for everything else.
And let’s be real—self-care isn’t just bubble baths and spa days. It’s building a life you don’t need to escape from. It’s the small, daily choices that add up over time:
✻ Moving your body in ways that feel good
✻ Fueling yourself with real, nourishing foods
✻ Prioritizing deep rest, not just crashing from exhaustion
✻ Setting (and actually holding) boundaries
✻ Giving yourself grace instead of criticism
Because when you take care of yourself, you show up better for everything else in your life.
2. HOW YOU SHOW UP FOR OTHERS
(Your effort in relationships, the support you give & receive, and how you engage with your community.)
Relationships are a two-way street. And while you can’t control how other people act, you can control how you show up. You can decide to be intentional about the energy you bring into your relationships.
Here’s the wake-up call: Are you giving as much to the people who truly matter as you are to the distractions in your life?
It’s easy to say we value connection, but are we actually prioritizing it? Are we putting in the effort, reaching out, making space for real conversations, and allowing ourselves to be supported too?
Ways to take control here:
✻ Be the friend who checks in first
✻ Set boundaries with draining relationships
✻ Make time for the people who fill your cup
✻ Be open to receiving support, not just giving it
Because at the end of the day, our relationships shape our lives. Let’s make sure we’re showing up for them in a way that aligns with what we truly value.
3. HOW YOU SPEND YOUR TIME & ATTENTION
(What gets your focus, what gets your yes, and what distractions you choose to minimize.)
Time is our most valuable resource, yet we give it away so easily—to scrolling, to overcommitting, to things that drain us. And then we wonder why we feel burnt out and unfulfilled.
👉 Gut check: If someone tracked how you spent the last 24 hours, would it reflect your actual priorities?
We say we don’t have time for the things that matter—exercise, meal prepping, reading, that passion project—but then we spend 3-4 hours a day on our phones. That adds up to over 1,000 hours a year—the equivalent of 25 full-time work weeks.
Oof.
What would change if you took even half of that time back and invested it in yourself?
This season, let’s take control of:
✻ Where our time is going (audit it!)
✻ What gets our yes (protect your energy)
✻ What distractions we’re willing to cut back on
Because your time is your life. Be intentional with it.
4. HOW YOU PROTECT & FUEL YOUR INNER WORLD
(Your mindset, emotional well-being, energy management, and the environments you create for yourself.)
Everything we consume—news, social media, conversations, even our own thoughts—shapes our reality. If we’re constantly filling our minds with negativity, chaos, and comparison, how can we expect to feel at peace?
👉 Gut check: If your inner world was a home, would it be a peaceful sanctuary or a chaotic mess?
We have to be intentional about:
✻ What we allow into our minds (curate your inputs)
✻ The narratives we tell ourselves (rewire limiting beliefs)
✻ The energy we protect (not everything deserves your reaction)
✻ The spaces we create (your environment affects your mental state)
Your inner world is the foundation for everything. Protect it.
5. HOW YOU RESPOND TO LIFE
Alright, here’s where things get real. Everything we’ve talked about so far—how you show up for yourself, how you show up for others, how you spend your time and attention, and how you nurture your mind, body, and spirit—those are all deeply personal choices.
But this one? This is the one that will challenge you the most.
Because it’s easy to take ownership of our own habits and routines. But what about the moments when someone else is the problem? When life throws something unfair, frustrating, or just plain exhausting our way?
We can’t control the guy who cut us off in traffic. We can’t control the person who was rude to us for no reason. We can’t control our boss piling more onto our plate, the weather ruining our plans, or how someone else chooses to show up in the world.
But what we can control? Is how we respond.
👉 Gut check: Are you reacting in a way that aligns with the person you want to be?
Because your initial reaction? That impulse to get mad, to snap back, to spiral into frustration? That’s normal. It’s human. But the space between what happens and how you respond—that’s where you get to decide what kind of life you’re creating.
You get to decide:
✻ Do I react out of habit or intention?
✻ Do I let this situation define me or refine me?
✻ Do I focus on what I can control or dwell on what I can’t?
Are you going to let every inconvenience, every rude comment, every stressful situation steal your peace? Or are you going to own your response, protect your energy, and refuse to let external chaos dictate your internal state?
This takes practice. It takes awareness. But when you start choosing your response instead of reacting out of habit, you become untouchable. The world can throw what it wants at you, but it doesn’t get to control your peace.
And that? That is where real freedom is found.
So here’s the truth: Life is unpredictable. People can be frustrating. Challenges will come. And there will always be things outside of our control.
But what we’ve talked about today? This is where your power is.
✔ How you show up for yourself
✔ How you show up for others
✔ How you spend your time and attention
✔ How you nurture your mind, body, and spirit
✔ And how you choose to respond to life
These are the things that shape your reality. These are the things that determine whether you’re building a life you love—or a life you feel like you need to escape from.
👉 Gut check: Are you focusing on what you can’t control—or are you taking ownership of what you can?
Because when you take radical responsibility for your choices, your habits, your mindset, and your energy? Everything shifts. You stop waiting for circumstances to change, and you start creating the life you want, one choice at a time.
So here’s my challenge for you: Pick one area from today’s episode and focus on it this week. Just one. Show up for yourself. Set a boundary. Change your response. Whatever it is, own it.
Because this is your life. And you are so much more in control than you think. Now get out there and take your power back— and I’ll see you next week right here on The Self Care Sisterhood Podcast. 🖤
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