Redefining Success: What If You’re Measuring It All Wrong? 🤔✨
Success. We all chase it, but what if the version we’ve been taught to pursue isn’t the one that actually fulfills us? Lately, I’ve been wrestling with what success really means—navigating the tension between external validation and internal fulfillment, between slow and intentional growth vs. fast and flashy wins. And let me tell you, this season has stretched me in ways I never expected. If you’ve ever felt unseen in your work, questioned whether you’re on the right path, or struggled with feeling behind, this post is for you. We’re peeling back the layers of traditional success and redefining it on our terms. Let’s get into it.
IN THIS POST WE’RE TALKING ABOUT—
✻ The pressure of external validation vs. the power of internal fulfillment
✻ How fast growth isn’t always the right kind of growth
✻ Wrestling with seasons where your dreams feel unseen or uncelebrated
✻ Why defining success for yourself changes everything
✻ A gut-check moment: Are you chasing success, or are you building it?
LET’S DIVE IN 🖤
Hey Hey Sisterhood and welcome back. Today is one of those come with me kinds of episodes where I’m taking you BTS of my journey in hopes it meets you right where you are in yours— or at the very least, inspires you. Let me paint the picture a bit bc with the coffee shop opening and in full swing I’ve been battling a lot behind the scenes. At the start of this year, I wrote down my Ins and Outs for 2025—a list of what I wanted to embrace and what I was ready to let go of. And right at the top?
✅ Redefining success as fulfillment over external validation.
✅ Going slow and finding joy in the journey instead of rushing to a finish line.
But if I’m being honest? Living those out in real time has been a lot harder than I expected.
Because nothing about this season has been slow. Seven weeks after we got the keys to the coffee shop we were open. We took less than two months to rebuild, build out, and learn everything there is to know about an industry I’ve never been in before. It’s been overwhelmingly fast—a whirlwind of decisions, long days, and constant learning.
And while I’m so excited for this new chapter, I’ve also found myself wrestling with something unexpected:
People love this coffee shop. They show up for it. They celebrate it. And I love that—truly. But then there’s this quieter part of me that wonders:
"What about the Sisterhood?"
"What about the thing I have poured my heart into?"
"Why does it feel like one thing is thriving while the other feels... stuck?"
And that’s where the real challenge of redefining success comes in.
Because I also wrote something else on my Outs list:
❌ White-knuckling my goals and expectations.
❌ Chasing numbers as a metric of my worth.
And yet, I still catch myself doing it—still feeling the pull of old definitions, still trying to measure my impact in ways that don’t actually align with what I know to be true.
So today, I’m sitting in the tension of it all. The tension of success looking different than I expected. The tension of pouring into something that doesn’t have instant results. The tension of choosing to believe my work is meaningful even when it’s not the loudest thing in the room.
And if you’ve ever felt this—if you’ve ever questioned whether your efforts matter, if you’ve ever felt unseen in your dreams, if you’ve ever wondered how to stay committed when the outcome isn’t clear—I want you to know: You’re not alone.
Today, we’re talking about:
✻ How to redefine success on your own terms
✻ The sneaky ways external validation tries to hijack your dreams
✻ How to recognize when you’re measuring your worth by the wrong metrics
✻ What I’m actively doing to shift my mindset—and how you can too
This isn’t about having all the answers. It’s about choosing to keep going, even when success doesn’t look how you thought it would. Because at the end of the day?
Success isn’t just about applause, numbers, or how visible your dream is to others.
It’s about what’s still worth building—even when no one is watching.
So let’s talk about it.
Let’s redefine success—together.
Why We Chase the Wrong Definition of Success—
I think, deep down, we know success isn’t just about numbers, applause, or being the biggest thing in the room. We know that fulfillment, purpose, and impact matter more.
And yet... why is it so hard to actually believe that?
Why do we still feel the gut-punch when the numbers don’t match our effort?
Why do we still compare our behind-the-scenes to someone else’s highlight reel?
Why do we still equate visibility with value?
For me, it’s been this quiet wrestle—this tension of knowing the truth but still feeling the weight of old definitions trying to creep back in. And it’s shown up in ways I wasn’t expecting.
Like catching myself wondering if the Sisterhood is enough when the coffee shop is getting so much love.
Like feeling like I have to prove my worth in this new space when, honestly? I don’t even know where I fit in yet.
Like questioning if I’m doing something wrong just because the growth isn’t instant.
And if you’ve ever felt this way—like your effort isn’t being seen, like you’re measuring your success against the wrong things, like you want to believe fulfillment matters more than validation but it’s just hard—I see you.
Because the world tells us that success is fast, loud, and measurable. That if something is really working, it’ll show in followers, revenue, sign-ups, attention.
But here’s the truth I keep coming back to:
✨ Success isn’t fast. It’s deep.
✨ Success isn’t about being the loudest. It’s about being the most aligned.
✨ Success isn’t about what people see. It’s about what you know to be worth it.
And that is where the real work happens—not in chasing validation, but in redefining the metrics that actually matter.
Redefining Success in Real Time
So, if we know that the world’s version of success is loud, fast, and all about numbers…
And we also know that real, fulfilling success is something deeper…
Then how do we actually start living that out?
I won’t pretend I have it all figured out. I’m in this tension right now, doing the work as we speak. But here’s what I’m coming back to, over and over again, to reframe what success looks like in this season:
✨ 1. Measuring success in impact, not applause.
Not every win is flashy. Not every impact is visible. But that doesn’t mean it doesn’t matter.
It’s the one person who tells you, “This changed the way I think.”
It’s the quiet ways your work supports someone, even if they never say a word.
It’s the faithfulness to your mission, even when the results aren’t instant.
The moment we stop chasing being seen and start honoring who we’re serving, everything shifts.
✨ 2. Staying rooted in purpose, not performance.
When I focus on how my work is perceived rather than why I started, I spiral. Every time.
So I’ve been asking myself:
Would I still do this work if no one clapped for it?
Would I still create, still show up, still pour into it—even if the numbers never grew?
And if the answer is yes? That means my success isn’t tied to performance. It’s rooted in something deeper.
✨ 3. Defining success by how it feels, not how it looks.
If success is just about the highlight reel, we’ll always be chasing.
So instead, I’m asking:
Do I feel aligned?
Do I feel joy in the process?
Do I feel proud of what I’m building—even in the slow seasons?
If the work itself feels good, that’s the real win.
✨ 4. Trusting the unseen work.
Some of the most important growth is happening where we can’t measure it.
Just because something isn’t growing fast doesn’t mean it isn’t growing right.
I think about the roots of a tree—you don’t see the deepening, the strengthening, the anchoring... but it’s happening. And when the time is right? The growth shows.
We have to believe in the unseen work of what we’re building.
✨ 5. Giving myself permission to evolve.
This season is stretching me. It’s asking me to hold space for two things at once:
Supporting my husband’s dream and nurturing my own.
Figuring out my place in a new industry while staying rooted in the work I love.
Letting my definition of success shift without feeling like I’m losing myself in the process.
And maybe you’re in a season like that too—where your path is evolving, where your role is shifting, where you’re learning to hold space for multiple things at once.
Here’s what I’m reminding myself:
You’re not behind. You’re not lost. You’re just growing in ways you never expected.
Here’s what I want you to take away from this:
Success isn’t just the numbers.
It’s not just the speed.
It’s not just what the world claps for.
It’s the impact you make, even when no one’s watching.
It’s the alignment you feel, even when the progress is slow.
It’s the work you’re called to, even when it doesn’t fit into someone else’s mold.
And listen—I know how hard it is to let go of the metrics we’ve been taught to chase.
I know what it’s like to feel unseen in the thing that matters most to you.
I know how tempting it is to wonder if maybe… you’re getting it all wrong.
But you’re not.
You’re just building something deeper. Something richer. Something that lasts.
So if you’re in a season of wrestling with what success actually means for you—you’re not alone.
I’m right here with you.
And the most powerful thing we can do? Keep showing up for the work we believe in.
Not because of how it looks.
Not because of how fast it grows.
But because it’s ours to build.
So what does success look like for you?
Not the version you’ve been taught to chase, but the one that actually feels right?
I’d love to hear—send me a message, share your thoughts, or just take a moment to define it for yourself.
Because that is where real success begins. I love you. I’m rooting for you. And I’ll see you right here, next week, on The Self Care Sisterhood Podcast.
PS…This website includes affiliate links. If you click and purchase, I may receive a small commission at no extra cost to you. I only recommend products + tools that I have personally reviewed, love, and/or use. You can read the full statement HERE.
