Instead of Work-Life Balance...Try This.
In this post we’ll chat thru…
① WHY work-life BALANCE isn’t realistic
② A NEW perspective to consider
③ EXAMPLES to help you IMPLEMENT work-life BLENDING
For so long we’ve heard this phrase “work-life balance” and IDK about you, but for me it leaves me feeling like I’m always missing the mark. When I try to balance my work and my life it makes my plate feel very full and the result for me has been seasons of overwhelm and burnout. Esp now that I work from home and own my own business…work tends to BE a part of my life. There isn’t a definitive “clock out” and much of my work is shown thru my day to day living. So how in the world can I draw a line and separate the two?!
If you’ve ever desperately tried to find balance in your own life and likely failed miserably, you know how hard it is to try and keep the scales even. Because here’s the truth: all the important pieces of your life are never going to be EQUAL.
Last fall I heard a podcaster (who was in a new season of motherhood) talk about how she broke up with balance and adopted a new way of living. It was a literal light bulb moment for me and ever since it’s given me so much freedom + ownership in how I show up, what I allow on my plate, and how much weight I give to the various parts of my day to day. It has me asking more and more frequently “what matters most, Britt?!” and then allows me the opportunity to put those answers on display in my own life.
I promise to dive into that but first…
WHAT’S ACTUALLY NOT WORKING WHEN WE SAY “BALANCE:”
① BALANCE IS SYNONYMOUS W/ EQUAL OR EVEN.
② BALANCE SEPARATES WORK FROM LIFE.
③ BALANCE ASSUMES WORK = HARD/LABOR and LIFE = FUN/RELAXING.
④ BALANCE CAN LEAD TO OVERWHELM + BURNOUT.
⑤ BALANCE IS RIGID + MAKES IT HARD TO SHIFT FROM SEASON TO SEASON.
SO INSTEAD CONSIDER THIS…
My whole life I’ve been surrounded by music and so this analogy really hits home for me. Let me try to explain…
When I think about music there’s NO WAY you would balance everything that’s being played, sang, drummed, etc. That would just be a lot of noise and it would get loud real quick. My husband and I went to a live recording recently for one of our fave groups and they had us all put on headphones so we could hear in REAL TIME how they were “balancing” the music.
When they “balance” it all out for production, not every note or instrument carries equal weight (or sound in this case). They BLEND the music so that it is enjoyable to listen to. So that you hear the right notes when you need to. So that you can understand the important lyrics. So that it is enjoyable on the ear.
This is how I think of work and life. A BLENDING rather than a balancing act.
WHAT BLENDING DOES OVER BALANCING:
① BLENDING ALLOWS WORK + LIFE TO COEXIST.
② BLENDING COMBINES PRIORITIES + ALLOWS YOU TO TAKE INVENTORY OF WHAT MATTERS MOST.
③ BLENDING ALLOWS WORK TO BE FULFILLING AND CHALLENGING + IT RECOGNIZES THAT LIFE IS BOTH HARD AT TIMES AND A PRECIOUS, ENJOYABLE JOURNEY.
④ BLENDING EMPOWERS YOU TO BE PRESENT WHERE YOUR FEET ARE W/OUT OVERDOING IT.
⑤ BLENDING RECOGNIZES THAT NOT EVERY DAY, SEASON, YEAR, WILL LOOK THE SAME AND SO IT’S FLUID AND ORGANIC vs RIGID.
Instead of considering how I can pile MORE onto my plate and make sure EVERYTHING is equally weighed in, blending allows me the freedom to take inventory and ownership of what gets placed on my plate and then make sure the things that matter, truly matter.
Let me give some examples of how BLENDING could look in your life…
WORK + MARRIAGE. 🖤 You love your job AND you also recognize that you want to pour intentionally into your marriage. Here’s a scenario for you…
Maybe you give 6 hours of your best focus to work today and then log off, clean the kitchen and prep an awesome meal for your husband. The time you allot to being intentional with your marriage and home isn’t the same as what you gave to work that day, BUT the key to blending is that you gave each your best while you were present. The things that mattered to you got SPACE in your day.
NEW MAMA + MOVEMENT. 💦 You are excited to be in this new season of life AND you also recognize that a past version of you really loved moving her body every day. Here’s a scenario for you…
Maybe in this season you’re a postpartum mama and you used to give an hour every day for moving your body, but you just can’t seem to carve out that same time. This doesn’t mean you’re balancing wrong, so let’s stop beating ourselves up in comparison to past seasons of us when they aren’t even comparable. Maybe it means that in this new season you BLEND movement in with mommin.’ Maybe it’s a family walk (baby in tow!) on your fave trail every Saturday. Just bc your movement didn’t get space every day doesn’t mean it doesn’t matter. It might just need less time than before.
NEW JOB/HOME + SOCIAL LIFE. 👯♀️ You just landed a new job/home AND your priorities are shifting. Here’s a scenario for you…
Maybe you used to hang out with friends every Friday night. And then you got a new job/bought a home and all of a sudden your priorities shifted. Friday nights got nixed in pursuit of rest + saving and there are some old friends who have been trying to make you feel bad for not hanging out. This doesn’t mean you’re a terrible friend and that you need to pile socializing onto your already full plate. This is a CLUE to a shift in your priorities. Rest after a long week has become a priority. Saving has become a priority. Home has become a priority. So honor that. Blend those in bc they MATTER to you now. And if those friends are the kind you want to keep around into this next chapter, simply invite them over for game nights + cheaper hang out options. And if that friend group isn’t one that’s serving the direction of your priorities, it’s also okay to make space. This is how blending is ORGANIC + FLUID as our lives ebb and flow.
Simply put, I think balance is a myth. Life WILL feel imbalanced and that’s actually OK! That’s part of the whole journey. That’s what makes the highs feel high and the lows feel low. We need the teetering of both. We need work to fulfill us sometimes and also challenge us. We need life to be both beautiful and brutal. It’s in the contrast that we are HUMAN, ya’ll. So I encourage you to ask “what matters MOST in this season…right now…where I am?!” and then I challenge you to honor that and blend your life according to your answer. Allow what matters to get SPACE in your world, if even just a sliver.
NEED MORE HELP?!
I get it and I’ve got you. 😉 Working towards your goals + determining WHAT MATTERS MOST can be tough stuff, but one of my fave places to start is to use a tracker. Habits STICK when we repeat them over time, right? And tracking my habits daily (whether it’s water, how I show up in my mornings, or even tracking the various ways I’m caring for me + others day in and day out) makes a difference. I’ve put together my FAVE self care habit trackers in a ✨FREE✨ bundle just for you. #you’rewelcome
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