Why "SMART GOALS" don't work + A BETTER WAY
In today’s post we’ll chat thru…
① Friendly REMINDER- two weeks LEFT to snag a spot for The Sisterhood Retreat!
② Why I don’t love “SMART” goals.
③ How to set goals using the G.R.O.W.T.H. goal setting model
LET’S DIVE IN. 🖤
Hello hello friends! I’m really excited for today’s episode bc it’s not only TRANSFORMED the way I show up to my goals, it’s also TRANSFORMED the game for me when it comes to the journey…
…but before I get to that we are OFFICIALLY coming up on the deadline to get a spot at THE SISTERHOOD RETREAT. If you have zero clue what this means I need you to listen up.
The Sisterhood Retreat is an INTIMATE WOMEN’S GETAWAY in Tampa, FL | Aug 30 - Sept 2nd
HERE’S WHAT YOU GET:
✻ 3 days, all inclusive stay in a vibey Air BnB on Florida’s Gulf Coast (travel not included!)
✻ Curated workshops designed to help you walk away from the retreat RENEWED, REALIGNED, + REFOCUSED.
✻ Guided breath work, cold plunges, yoga classes, and experiences that will help you quiet the noise and lean into your intuition.
✻ AND…a 6 week group coaching container book-ending the retreat to help you lay the ground work before you arrive AND walk you thru the first month of returning home and moving towards your goals. My goal is to help you create a CLEAR PATHWAY TO PROGRESS in your life + journey and so the retreat is intentionally being designed with that in mind.
THE SISTERHOOD RETREAT IS FOR YOU IF…
▫️ You’re tired of playing small
▫️ You struggle with confidence, mindset, and knowing your worth
▫️ You need new habits, behaviors, and routines, but have no idea where to start
▫️ You crave a community of like-hearted women who get you because they’re on the same journey
▫️ You don’t know what it is you want, but you know something needs to change
▫️ You know exactly what it is you want, but you’re afraid to go after it
Is this YOU? What if you took a leap of FAITH and said YES to joining us at The Sisterhood Retreat?! If you’re interested/curious/I just described YOU let’s chat! You can hit me up on social @inspirebeautybritt OR you can fill out my interest list form… I’ll leave in the show notes for you below. Regardles…there’s ONE WEEK left and only a spot or two remaining. If this is tugging at your heart, I’d LOVE to have you at the retreat.
Okay…today I wanna talk all things GOAL SETTING.
First off…I’m an ex-public school teacher. I taught for 10 years in the public school system before I decided to take my classroom virtually into spaces like this. And the thing is…if your gifting is truly to teach then once a teacher, always a teacher, right? You can take me out of a classroom but you can’t take the classroom out of me.
As a teacher, one of the HUGE pieces of our curricullum at the time was this idea of getting the students to take ownership over their education and learning and help them understand a method of goal setting called “S.M.A.R.T. goal” setting. You may have heard of this idea before and any quick Google search for goal setting is going to land you on some version of this.
And if I can be real…I really can’t stand this method. Let me break down what it stands for so I can share what I mean.
S - SPECIFIC.
M - MEASUREABLE
A - ATTAINABLE
R - REALISTIC
T - TIME BOUND
I love the idea of specific goals but that’s about where my attachment to this method dies. After that, you’ve got M - MEASUREABLE and this emphasizes the importance of quantifying progress in numerical ways, but friends, this approach doesn't accommodate every type of goal. Not all meaningful goals lend themselves to numerical measurement. Aiming to improve your creativity, or maybe enhance your relationships, or boost overall happiness…these are all beautiful goals that don’t have a straight forward way of measuring them. So the M is out for me bc not everything in this world is black and white numbers on a paper. The next two get me all kinds of riled up (A - ATTAINABLE + R - REALISTIC) bc it’s limiting and stifling to innovation and ambition. Saying something needs to be “attainable” or “realistic” boxes people into setting goals that align with current capabilities and accepted norms, stifling progress. I mean think about it....throughout history, many goals that seemed unattainable or unrealistic at the time were pursued with relentless determination. Flying planes, landing a human on the moon, and even the idea of a tiny computer in your pocket (aka the iPhone) would have been dismissed as fantasy just two decades ago. If we only set goals that fit within what we believe is attainable and realistic, we will play small every. single. time. Progress comes from pushing the boundaries of what your life CURRENTLY looks like, which basically negates the idea that a goal has to be attainable and/or realistic. And then last, T - TIME BOUND. I’ve set plenty of goals in my life that DIDN’T HAPPEN when I wanted them to. But. I kept going. And they EVENTUALLY happened. Binding yourself into a time limit, to me, sets us up for failure and disappointment. What if we looked at a time frame and worked to make PROGRESS within that, regardless if the goal is 100% met. What would that change about the way we keep our motivation towards the goal?
So this was my starting point. Frustration about how the world tells us we need to set goals. And after mentoring a whole lotta women, I’ve realized that goals don’t need to be so box-y and cage-y. We can make PROGRESS on the way to our desires and THAT FREAKING MATTERS. I wanted to find a BETTER way to help the women I work with goal set and the more I kept marinating on it, the more I kept coming back to the idea of GROWTH. You know in this space I’ll always say that GROWTH LOOKS GOOD ON YOU and so I’ve developed a goal setting method that centers around the idea of GROWTH. Let’s dive in. 🖤
Creating your goals using The G.R.O.W.T.H. Method helps us focus on who we’re becoming and how that ripples out into the world, while we work toward goals. In other goal setting formats the focus in on the OUTCOME, but with this method, the focus truly becomes the PROCESS. Life is happening RIGHT NOW, whether you want to believe it or not. It doesn’t slow down. You’re either MOVING TOWARDS YOUR GOALS or you’re FALLING AWAY. There is no standing still. This method keeps us from falling into that “one day when….” mindset trap and helps us to take ACTION on our goals, which is how you DO THE DANG THING anyways, right?! It just makes sense.
I created a method called The G.R.O.W.T.H. Method for goal setting and it looks like this:
G - GOAL
R - REASON
O - OTHERS IMPACTED
W - WEEKLY CHECK INS
T - TIME FRAME
H - HABITS, BEHAVIORS, + ROUTINES
The first three parts of this method (GRO) focus on why your goals truly matter to you (which helps A LOT with motivation + discipline) and the other three (WTH) are the more tangible actions steps we need when working toward goals. So…with that, let’s break down each letter in a little more detail -
G - GOAL
What do I want to accomplish?
It’s pretty straightforward, right? What do you ACTUALLY want?! But that’s the thing. It's estimated that only 3% of the population sets goals, and less than 1% write them down. So I know it can seem really elementary that I’m saying the first thing you need to do is ACTUALLY WRITE DOWN what it is you want, but knowing something and actually DOING IT are two very different things. Be like the 1% and write down your goals.
Next though, I want you to get really specific here (the one thing I don’t mind about SMART goals…). Vague visions deliver vague results. When it comes to goal setting, the more specific you get, the better. So get really specific about what it is you ACTUALLY want and then DREAM IN DETAIL.
Let me give you an example. Instead of saying “I want to get healthy” try something like:
"I am the kind of woman who prioritizes her health. I move my body at least five times a week, combining cardio, strength training, and yoga. I follow a meal plan that focuses on eating more fruits, vegetables, and whole foods, while removing processed foods and sugar from most of my day to day. And I honor my need for quality rest by getting 7 hours of sleep per night. Because of this, I am a more energized, motivated, and confident wife, mama, and friend."
HOW TO DO IT:
Regardless of the goal you’ve got, it can be hard to drown out the noise and get still enough to actually decide what YOU want (and not Sally on the internet). For me, it helps to play some calm journaling vibe music and get quiet/still. Begin to picture what you truly DESIRE. Think thru every area of SELF CARE - your physical and mental health, the environments you’re in, the relationships you have, your peace and spirit, how you have fun and the hobbies you pursue, what your finances look like, where you travel and how you spend your free time, your job, career, and calling, how you’re growing as a human, all of it. Get CLEAR on what it is you want with this ONE PRECIOUS LIFE you’ve been given. And then write. Write it all out in a brain dump style. Don’t worry if they feel far off or audacious…I believe if it’s on your heart, there’s something to it that’s for you. You don’t need to know the how’s right now, just the desires. And one more thing that helps me is writing the prompt “WOULDN’T IT BE COOL IF…” and then rattling off all the things I would love to accomplish + pursue.
R - REASON
Why does this goal matter to me right now?
One of the things I hear time and time again from women I’m working with is some form of “I’m not motivated.” And here’s the thing, knowing WHY you’re even pursuing a goal and then having that at the forefront of your heart + mind is the best kind of motivation. Truly. And it’s gotta be deep. No more surface level reasons. When I only worked out bc of the way I wanted to look, I’d lose motivation real quick when the scale didn’t shift. But I have been moving my body and caring for her consistently over the last 10+ years and it’s bc I decided I liked who I was as a human being IN MY HEAD and OUT IN THE WORLD so much better when I was caring for myself with good food and healthy movement than when I sit on the couch and eat like crap. Simply put…I’m a crap of a human when I don’t care for me and I don’t like that.
Knowing your DEEP WHY will keep you going when you inevitably get distracted and/or discouraged as you pursue the goal. And trust me, if you’re human you will face moments of distraction and discouragement…if you don’t, I’m gonna challenge you that you’re not pursueing something meaningful enough. Resistance is part of the equation so we need a solid REASON to keep us moving even in the face of it.
HOW TO DO IT:
Ask yourself, “Why does this goal matter to me RIGHT NOW?” Some goals are no longer for you…or they were a goal a previous version of you set. And that’s awesome, but when we grow and evolve, sometimes (often times) our goals have to grow and evolve with us. If you’re always used to setting the “I wanna get healthy” goal like I shared, maybe you need to dig into what HEALTHY LOOKS LIKE at this season of your life versus a previous. And the reason behind it shifts, too. Maybe in your 20’s it was bc you wanted to complete a challenge or build confidence in your skin. But maybe now in your 40’s it’s because you want to get off of depression meds and clear your mind. Both are okay, but they matter based on the season you’re in. So figure out WHY it matters to you RIGHT NOW.
O - OTHERS IMPACTED
Who benefits while I work towards + once I achieve this goal?
When your goals extend beyond yourself and are centered around what it does to UPLEVEL the lives of others, you’re more likely to focus on the impact. We all do better with a little accountability, right? This is the ultimate version bc you’re looking at what your goals will do FOR OTHERS while you pursue them AND once they see you achieving them. We’ve talked about this on the podcast before, but it stands to remind you that YOU ARE AN INFLUENCER. Every one is influencing someone. The question isn’t AM I INFLUENCING my family, friends, or kids? It’s HOW AM I INFLUENCING THEM?
HOW TO DO IT:
This is pretty straightforward, but give yourself time to really picture the potential IMPACT of the process to achieving your goals. Ask yourself, “Who benefits in my life and circle of influence while I’m working on being the healthiest version of myself? What is the impact once I achieve this goal?” Using the “healthy lifestyle” example from earlier for having your why attached and being driven by WHO IT IMPACTS, it could look like this:
”My kids need a healthy example of a mom who takes care of herself despite all the other people demanding her time and attention. I will show them what a vibrant life looks like so they grow up with positive examples of a healthy relationship with food and movement.”
W - WEEKLY CHECK INS
When will I check in each week? How will I track my progress + actions?
One of the huge pieces of my success is that I don’t let a lot of time go in-between when I set a goal and revisiting how I’m doing. One of the reasons we tend to NOT achieve our goals is bc we set the resolution and then never give it a second thought until the following New Year. This is how we get stuck in that loop of setting goals and never actually achieving them. Check ins are essential bc it’s not the first time you fall off that you make not showing up a habit, it’s when you repeat that behavior, right?
Checking in also gives you the opportunity to make sure the goal is as aligned with YOU and your life season as possible. Sometimes goals I set at the new year end up sounding like a good idea, but by March or so I realize that it wasn’t really aligned for this season. Example - this year on my vision board I wrote that I would have an entire NO SPEND month. I realized really quickly that that was a lofty goal, so I decided instead of ditching it altogether, I could adjust it. Instead I decided to start tracking NO SPEND DAYS each week in my planner and that helped me see how often I was spending money and get more intentional about NO SPEND DAYS…and even NO SPEND WEEKS versus going all in on a no spend month, which felt really daunting.
What I’ve found is that sometimes the goal isn’t the problem…it’s that I got off track. And other times I’ve realized a goal wasn’t really the right thing for the season I’m in. Both are okay. But that’s why we need REGULAR CHECK INS in order to come to that conclusion.
HOW TO DO IT:
It’s super simple. Set aside 30 minutes on a Sunday to do a little inventory of your goals. How did last week go? What got your focus and attention? Is it in alignment? How do you want to show up this next week? Anything might get in the way of your best intentions? And then after you think thru all of this, schedule in your goals. If they aren’t in your face, it’s easier to let them slip by. And truth love…you have 30 minutes on a Sunday if you have goals that matter to you. If you’re listening and thinking “I don’t have time for that,” well then you simply don’t have time for living a focused and intentional life. Period.
T - TIME FRAME
What is a good time frame for working towards this goal?
Looking at the time frome when working toward your goals protects you from falling into the “one day when…” trap. But remember that the time will keep passing and progress/direction in any given time frame is far more important than speed. Time frames shouldn’t stress you out or make you feel like you’re a failure if you haven’t met the goal in said time. It’s simply a tool that holds you accountable so you can make consistent progress toward your goals.
HOW TO DO IT:
For me, it works best to decide what the big picture macro goal is and then brain dump all the micro steps that need to happen along the way. From there, you can determine the BEST first action to take and then schedule it into your day to day to get the ball rolling. For a goal like the “healthy lifestyle” example, this is tough bc a time frame for me…well it’s for LIFE, right? I want to always live my healthiest self. So it becomes more about getting the ball rolling if that looks non-existent and then monitoring over time any small tweaks or adjustments you might need to make.
ACTION STEPS NEEDED FOR MOVEMENT PLAN:
Get a gym membership/fitness program plan.
✻ Research gyms in the area, fitness studios, and online app options.
✻ Schedule a trial class/trial membership period.
✻ Decide on preferred fitness program/class and sign up for membership.
✻ Purchase any necessary equipment, activewear, etc.
Develop a schedule + track my movement
✻ Print off a monthly calendar (i love to use Canva for this!)
✻ Write out (or type in) your movement plan for the month.
✻ Print and place it in an empty frame with a dry erase marker some where you can see it daily (mine sits in my home gym area).
✻ Decide on class time/workout time each week and write it in my planner as an appointment I cannot miss.
Track results over time.
✻ Weigh myself at the top of every month.
✻ Take progress photos at the top of every month.
✻ Measure progress with an outfit.
✻ Track your weight selections, heart rate zones, or flexibility/mobility each time you workout.
✻ Switch up your routine as needed.
H - HABITS, BEHAVIORS, + ROUTINES
What must I do daily or routinely so I can see my goals become reality? Who must I become in the process to achieve the kinds of goals I desire?
Goals without action are just dreams, right? It’s easy to dream something up or desire more. But it’s the real heros that actually wake up and DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT. In traditional goal setting the focus is always on the outcome. I’m gonna flip it here and encourage you that the ACTION IS ALWAYS GREATER THAN THE OUTCOME. Your PRIZE at the end of the journey is WHO YOU BECAME IN THE PROCESS. Always waiting for the goal to be achieved to be happy or content is a recipe to miss out on so so much of what life has for you.
So we’ve got to look at WHAT WE’RE DOING and WHO WE ARE BECOMING and decide if those habits, behaviors, and routines reflect what you’re working towards and the kind of person who achieves that kind of thing. This helps with consistency (which is another reason so many people fall off their goals) AND it helps you create a life you’re really freaking proud of bc show me your habits and I’ll show you your life, right? Whether you wanna believe it or not, your habits are forming you as a person. And that’s a pretty big deal and a beautiful reminder that what we do EACH AND EVERY DAY has a profound impact on our overall lives…even if you can’t see it in the moment.
HOW TO DO IT:
Start small, friends. Too much too fast is always a recipe for our brains to step in and say “whoa…what are we doing here?!” This is how we talk ourselves out of progress bc your brain is wired for comfort, not growth. For me, it helps to stack my actions and build them slowly over time. Think thru your current routines. Sticking with the healthy lifestyle example maybe you:
✻ Set your workout clothes out the night before.
✻ Always have a bottle of water prepped to go in the fridge (i prep mine the night before!)
✻ Designate a day of the week to meal planning (mine is Thursday and I shop on Friday)
✻ Plan for moments you won’t “feel like it”
And there you have it! The G.R.O.W.T.H. Method for goal setting -
G - GOAL
R - REASON
O - OTHERS IMPACTED
W - WEEKLY CHECK INS
T - TIME FRAME
H - HABITS, BEHAVIORS, + ROUTINES
This is how I build discipline towards working on my BEST, most UNSTOPPABLE self and I can’t wait to hear how that works as you apply it to your own life + journey + goal setting. Be sure to share this episode on your social and tag me so I can see what you’re loving + learning along the way. And don’t forget that there are literally a few spots left for The Sisterhood Retreat and I’m closing enrollment two weeks in real time as you listen. If you’re loving this method and you want support in applying this to your life, you’re gonna want to snag a spot for The Sisterhood Retreat. Hit me up on INSTAGRAM or FB and just say I’M INTERESTED IN THE RETREAT and we can chat thru all the deets! I’m rooting for you. And I can’t wait to see you back here next time on The SELF CARE Sisterhood Podcast. 🖤🤟🏼
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