OUR THOUGHTS HAVE POWER - what wolf are you feeding?! 🎧
In today’s post we’ll chat thru…
① The TWO VOICES we all have.
② A Cherokee Indian Legend and how that relates to Neuroplasticity
③ Cultivating AGENCY over your positive + negative thought patterns.
LET’S DIVE IN. 🖤
HEY! HELLO! And welcome back to the podcast, my friends. So many of you who’ve been following along on the podcast know my story and battle with depression. It’s something I’m really open with bc honestly, I feel like it’s what I needed when I first started struggling. Someone who had already been down the path and was living vibrant on the other side to turn back, reach out their hand, and say “come with me…it’s safe…I’ve paved the way for healing.”
And even if you haven’t really heard much of my story, I feel like it’s an honor for me to be in a space where I can do the same for others…for you. This conversation about mindset and our thoughts - it’s so relevant and SO needed. So today we’re gonna go there and dig into mindset and neuroplasticity and the voices that are looping inside of your head. I’m so pumped.
One thing that TRULY saved me - and transformed me - during my battle with depression was my LOVE for personal growth. I became a solution seeker for a more peaceful and grounded way of living. I wanted to read about what others had already been thru and see myself in their stories. As validation that I’m not crazy. And also as encouragement for how I could change. And what I realized was in order to have a life on the OUTSIDE that radiated peace, joy, happiness, fulfillment, etc was to CREATE that thing on the INSIDE.
I use the phrase “CREATE WHAT YOU CRAVE” a lot in this space and if I’m being vulnerable here today…I craved to lessen the noise in my mind - the voice telling me I wasn’t good enough, worthy enough, and flat out didn’t matter on this planet - I craved for that voice to be silenced. And here’s the thing. I have two voices in my mind…I think we all do in some way or another.
A voice that tears you down.
And a voice that lifts you up.
For a long time the voice tearing me down was all I could hear. And my heart breaks thinking about how many others this may be true for, too. The worst part is that often I don’t think we even THINK about the voice that’s looping. So today I want to pause a little and really see if that voice is serving the direction you desire…bc we all have those voices. The hard work is which one will be believe?
A CHEROKEE INDIAN LEGEND
I want to start by sharing a legend from the Cherokee Indian Tribe. I actually heard this on a recent Peloton ride I was taking (shout out to Robin Arzon…if you know, you know…she’s my fave). Anyways. I love her classes bc she always challenges the way I think. She offers perspective and encouragement to level up my life. And I know it’s just a ride, but I take her classes bc I feel like I always step off my bike a better version of ME. So in the middle of class one day she shared this parable called “The Wolf You Feed.” It goes like this -
The Wolf You Feed
One evening an old Cherokee told his grandson about a battle that goes on inside people.
He said, "My son, the battle is between two "wolves" inside us all.
One is Evil. It is anger, envy, jealousy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.
The other is good. It is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion and faith."
The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather: "Which wolf wins?"
The old Cherokee simply replied, "The one you feed."
Can you see why I love her classes?! I had such an ah-ha moment after she shared this.
We all have those voices. And you can call them whatever you want - but I picture it like an angel and a devil on your shoulder, right? For some those voices can sound like a different person. Like maybe the evil voice sounds like a parent or influence that tore you down most of your life…so when you head that voice tearing you down, it sounds like them. For me, the voices are tricky bc they are BOTH me. You know when people talk about hearing God speak to them? That’s tough for me, even as a Christian, bc God’s voice sounds like ME. So when I’m being torn down…it sounds like me. And when I’m pumping myself up….it sounds like me. How do you tell them apart, right?
It comes down to tone. I know when the voice (even if it sounds like me) is being gentle and compassionate. And I know when that same voice is beating me up.
Can you tell the difference? Have you ever paused to consider WHO the voice is? And then have you ever considered that you have agency over who to believe? The wolf that wins is the one you FEED. And there’s actual SCIENCE behind this Cherokee legend.
ON THAT NOTE…LET’S TALK NEUROPLASTICITY.
Our mind is a powerful resource. When we talk about building a life you’re obsessed with on the outside....it all begins on the inside with our mind. Our minds + mindset matters. Neuroplasticity, also known as neural plasticity or brain plasticity, is the ability of neural networks in the brain to change through growth and reorganization. It is when the brain is rewired to function in some way that differs from how it previously functioned. Meaning…your brain is constantly being SHAPED AND MOLDED, so it has the power to CHANGE over time. And the more repetition we give to the thoughts we think, the more neural pathways are formed.
Think about your front lawn. If you were to walk across the lawn once would anything happen to the grass? Probably not. What if you walked across it maybe three or four times...anything? Most likely, no. But if you walked the same path every single day what would happen to the grass?
YOU WOULD CREATE A PATHWAY.
The same is true for our brain. If you continue to think a thought repeatedly then a pathway will begin to form in your brain. You can form positive paths or negative paths. And what’s even more fascinating is that in neuroscience, we’ve figured out that not all thoughts are created equal. Negative thoughts are like Velcro (think cool 90's shoes) and positive thoughts are like Teflon (think cooking pans). What’s the difference between Velcro and Teflon? Well, Velcro sticks. Teflon doesn’t. Meaning...our brain can process negativity and BELIEVE it (aka make it stick), while it struggles to believe the positive things (aka rejects it). This is called negativity bias. It’s easier to believe something negative about yourself than it is to believe something positive. Let me prove it...
NAME SOMETHING THAT SOMEONE SAID ABOUT YOU AS A CHILD THAT YOU STILL REMEMBER TO THIS DAY.
I’ll go first. When I was in 5th grade, I was having a hard time managing my big emotions. I’ve always been a highly emotional person, but I didn’t have the guidance or knowledge to really know what to do with my big feelings. I’ll never forget this boy in my class - Charles Charleton. No seriously, that’s his real name and I hope to God he never finds this podcast ha! But he was picking on me that day and I ended up in a sobbing outburst. My teacher pulled me into the hallway and she said “Brittany, you need to stop being so sensitive.” And it was in the moment that I learned being sensitive is a weakness and a bad thing. It’s taken me another 30 odd years to realize my sensitivity is actually my super power, but do you see how negative messages we were told STICK? I can still see myself as a little girl in that moment who so badly wanted to be heard and seen and validated, but instead was torn down and made to see herself as weak.
So what about you? Do you have that moment in your mind? The thing someone told you about yourself that has STUCK forever? THAT, my friends, is negativity bias in action. We believe the negative stuff bc it’s more readily able to stick than the millions of positive things I’m sure that teacher said to me. I’ll forever remember her in a negative way.
That’s why being AWARE of the wolf we’re feeding is important. If you’re feeding the evil, negative, jealous, jaded wolf…that stuff is gonna create a pathway and stick pretty stinking fast. But if you can feed the good, peaceful, loving, faith-filled, kind, and gentle wolf, you can start to create pathways that change YOU from the inside out. This is how we heal friends. This is how we grow and evolve and express our best, most unstoppable selves.
If you don’t like the PLAYLIST that’s on loop in your mind, my advice is to quickly and boldly CHANGE THE STATION. Feed the wolf you ultimately want to win.
As I wrap up today, I want to share another mental tattoo I like to imprint on the minds of the women I’m mentoring -
I like to remind them that “IT STARTS WITH ME .” We can’t play victim here. If we are looking for change…it starts with US bc the best way to make the WORLD BETTER is to make OURSELVES BETTER. With our own habits, behaviors, and routines. Change starts within + self-initiation is essential. And so I encourage each member to take deep ownership in initiating the transformation they seek. And I know you’re here working to do the same.
One of the reasons I started this space is that MINDSET is everything. We all want the spa days and the fitness routine and the bubble baths to be the thing that magically makes life better. But if the soundtrack playing on loop in your mind sucks, nothings gonna change. In order to TRULY embrace self care, you have to understand that caring for you looks like taking deep ownership over your life and no longer running on autopilot and allowing life (+ your thoughts) to happen to you. It’s not selfish…it’s actually the most self-less thing you can do bc to quote the words of Robin Sharma -
The finest strategy to make the world better, is to make yourself better.
🖤🤟🏼
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