Why “TRYING” might not be working for you.
In today’s post we’ll chat thru…
① SPRING ENROLLMENT IS OPEN | HOW TO JOIN
② Why “TRYING” might NOT BE WORKING
③ A DIFFERENT APPROACH
LET’S DIVE IN. 🖤
Hello hello friends! We’re officially in ENROLLMENT WEEK for Spring in The SISTERHOOD Membership and ya’ll…I’M SO FREAKING PUMPED at all the new gals we’re welcoming in. 👯♀️
Quick recap if you have zero clue what I’m talking about OR if you’ve been on the fence and need a lil’ nudge:
First off. The SISTERHOOD Membership is an online growth based membership community for hard working, purpose driven women who also want to include THEMSELVES on their to do list (AKA YOU!). The mission behind the membership is to provide tools, resources, community, and conversation that equip and empower women to take care of themselves, so that they can go out into the world and LOVE + SERVE from the overflow. I know we do that here in this space, but gosh…if you love my style of coaching + conversation than you will LOVE the membership.
INSIDE THE MEMBERSHIP THIS SEASON WE’LL BE DIGGING DEEP INTO ALL THINGS “MOVEMENT + MINDSET” I want to help you learn the skills to strengthen yourself from the INSIDE OUT.
And second…so often in my career as a fitness coach…and truly where me branching out and starting this podcast and community stemmed from…was this nagging knowing that movement by itself just wasn’t enough. Time and time again women would come to me for support in their fitness journeys and really what I noticed was there was a lot of MINDSET WORK that needed to be done.
One of my fave quotes is 👇🏼
“THE HEAVIEST WEIGHT YOU WILL EVER CARRY IS THE WEIGHT BETWEEN YOUR EARS.”
It’s not the pounds or the reflection or the body fat percentage. It goes DEEPER than that. I want to help you fall in love with moving your body and also gain strategies to help you evolve from a fixed mindset into a growth based one.
When you join (like RIGHT NOW bc the doors are OPEN) you’ll get:
① ACCESS TO MONTHLY GROUP COACHING WORKSHOPS + GUEST EXPERT SPEAKERS - surrounding topics YOU want support in on your journey. This season is all about MOVEMENT + MINDSET - strengthening ourselves from the INSIDE OUT.
② THREE BOOK CLUB PICKS - to support your learning (w/ a virtual book club hang!) Every other season, we dive into a bible study, too, for my Jesus girls!
③ A 40 PG PRINTABLE WORKBOOK/JOURNAL + PHONE WALLPAPERS + TRACKERS - to pair with our theme.
④ A PRIVATE SISTERHOOD COMMUNITY - to hold you accountable + support you along the way w/ daily INSPO. Literally the BEST place to be on the internet.
⑤ ACCESS TO OUR HANGOUTS THAT INCLUDE:
"FRIYAY OPEN GYM" VIRTUAL SISTERHOOD meet ups - every other week - a change to finish the week strong and take care of YOU. These are held via Zoom.
MONTHLY SISTERHOOD ZOOM HANGOUTS - a fun (virtual) way for us to meet up and grow in community. This season’s options include a word bracelet making night, game night, book club, + a 6 week Bible Study.
AND MONTHLY PLAN + PREP MEETINGS - a chance to pause at the end of each month to reflect as well as prep anything you need for the month ahead bc FOCUS + INTENTION is the goal…not perfection.
It’s seriously my FAVE place to hang out the internet and my FAVE WAY to pour into YOU bc I get to really be along SIDE OF YOU on the journey vs crossing my fingers and hoping you hear my heart thru the sound waves, ya know? Okay off my soap box, but seriously…all the deets are found right HERE. Doors close Sunday March 3rd and I can’t wait to welcome you in.
Let’s dive in. 🖤
I WANNA TALK TODAY ABOUT TRYING.
I bring up this topic today bc man…I get it. You try and you try and you try so freaking hard. And at times it feels like you’re not making any progress. And even worse…you feel like you’ve actually gone BACKWARDS in your journey.
I hear from a lot of women on their journeys who are really exhausted, stressed, and quite frankly, burnt out bc they’ve spent so much time trying. Trying for so long that honestly you start to question if it’s even worth it, right?
You’re trying to take care of your family.
You’re trying for that break thru in your business.
You’re trying to be a better friend.
You’re trying to save up the money.
You’re trying…
I’ve been having a lot of that feeling recently and bc this is one of those spaces where I like to peel back the curtain and allow you into my journey…I have to be honest that it’s felt tempting lately to stop trying. That’s the problem with trying…trying leads to the same cycle of wanting to simply STOP.
Please know that I get you. When trying is leading you to quitting…keep going. Keep fighting. What you’re doing MATTERS. Even if it’s not monumental or doesn’t feel so monumental. Even if you feel like no one would notice if you stopped…they would…and more importantly YOU WOULD. So since we’re on the same page that trying hasn’t been working so well lately… I wanna share a little story that’s helped me to kind of realign my mindset out of the quit and back into the game.
Back when I was a school teacher living in Miami, my oldest brother was living in Chicago. I loved going out in the fall to visit bc it’s such a gorgeous time of year to visit the city. In 2010 during my visit, it happened to be when the Chicago Marathon was happening and my brother had a friend who was running in it. We spent Saturday of that trip cheering on complete strangers and feeling the electricity of the city for this event. My brother got the itch and decided he would run it in 2011, so fast forward a year and I was back in Chicago to cheer HIM on. After THAT weekend, I got the itch and my brother and I decided to sign up for 2012 TOGETHER.
SIDE NOTE…DO NOT GO AND WATCH A MARATHON IF YOU DON’T WANT THE ITCH TO THEN RUN ONE. 😉
Here’s the thing, though. At that point I wasn’t what one would call a “runner” per se. I mean…I could put a foot in front of another…but not like for 26.2 miles. Not even for much more than maybe 2 or 3. I remember getting my calendar out and reverse engineering my training plan…like when it would have to start and what kinds of races could I sign up for in the meantime to start practicing.
My first race was a turkey trot, ya’ll. I got home from that marathon with the itch. Signed up for a turkey trot the following month. And ran it easy breezy…FULLY PREPARED for the Chicago Marathon.
Except nope. Not really. What ended up happening was I got to the end of that 6.2 mile trot and felt really freaking defeated. I mean…I showed up. I had this vision. And I tried. It should’ve worked, right? But it didn’t. My lungs burned. My legs hurt. I wasn’t able to run the entire time. And I’m pretty sure I couldn’t sit properly on a toilet seat for at least a week afterwards. And that’s when the doubt crept in. In my mind I started to wonder if there was ANY WAY I could run 26.2 miles 10 months from then if I could barely handle the 6.
I just kept remembering that my brother didn’t just wake up and run the marathon. There was a PROCESS to his journey. Fast forward to the summer and I knew the only way I could cross that finish line would be if I didn’t simply TRY…I HAD TO TRAIN. I had to mimic the PROCESS of what it looked like to achieve that goal. So I printed off a plan. I read the book that he read as he trained. I bought the gear + supplements. I showed up each day and ran the distance it told me to whether I wanted to or not. Simply put…I TRAINED my body and my mind to endure 26.2 miles of constant motion. And yes…if you’re wondering. I crossed the finish line in October of 2012 as a CHICAGO MARATHON FINISHER…hand in hand with my brother by my side. It was one of my favorite moments of my life.
But it didn’t happen by luck or chance, friends. It happened bc I TRAINED.
Those goals you have on your heart? They often require you to CHANGE a little bit. And I think that’s why we shy away and resort to “trying.” Because when we show up and try, there’s really not a transformation that happens so we can give up and blame the thing instead of ourselves. That was me when I rolled up to the turkey trot. I hadn’t BECOME a different athlete than what I already was so I started to decide that I didn’t have what it took. “Maybe I’m just not a runner” “Maybe my body can’t handle that kind of distance.” Those were the thoughts I looped when I was TRYING.
To get from where I was when I signed up for the race to the person who crossed the finish line in Chicago, I had to WORK TO BECOME HER by TRAINING for a period of time. Friends you have to WORK TO BECOME THE TYPE OF WOMAN YOU DESIRE TO BE. It doesn’t fall into your lap. There’s TRAINING required.
SO WHAT’S THE DIFFERENCE?!
When we try…we attempt to do the thing we desire to do by putting in a little bit of effort in the moment. But when we train…we commit to developing the exact habits, behaviors, and routines we need to get us to do the thing we desire to do.
Craig Groeschel says in his book “The Power to Change,” that “…training is DOING TODAY what you can do today so that you can DO TOMORROW what you can’t do today.” Trying tends to be a momentary reaction based on feelings, motivation, or willpower whereas training is an ongoing approach to how you show up to a goal.
Missing the mark on your goals isn’t the problem. We all do that. The problem with achieving your goals is the APPROACH. Maybe you’ve been approaching your goals with a TRYING mentality instead of a TRAINING mentality. Switching to a TRAINING MINDSET involves adopting a more focused, structured, and intentional approach to achieving your goals. Let’s walk thru five real life examples:
Instead of Trying to Lose Weight, Train for a Healthy Lifestyle:
✳︎ Trying mindset: Attempting crash diets or quick fixes.
✳︎ Training mindset: Developing a sustainable fitness and nutrition plan, gradually building healthier habits over time.
Instead of Trying to Save Money, Train for Financial Discipline:
✳︎ Trying mindset: Randomly cutting expenses without a clear budget.
✳︎ Training mindset: Creating a detailed budget, setting savings goals, and consistently practicing financial discipline.
Instead of Trying to Learn a New Skill, Train with Consistent Practice:
✳︎ Trying mindset: Randomly attempting to acquire the skill on your own + without a plan.
✳︎ Training mindset: Establishing a regular practice schedule, breaking down the skill into manageable tasks, and consistently working on improvement…oh and possibly getting a coach, mentor, or teacher who can help you excel.
Instead of Trying to Improve Relationships, Train in Effective Communication:
✳︎ Trying mindset: Hoping for better connections without addressing communication issues.
✳︎ Training mindset: Actively working on communication skills, seeking feedback, and consistently practicing listening to understand vs listening to respond.
Instead of Trying to Excel at Work, Train for Continuous Improvement:
✳︎ Trying mindset: Hustling + grinding without a clear focus on skill development.
✳︎ Training mindset: Identifying key skills for career growth, setting specific improvement goals, and consistently seeking opportunities for learning and development.
In each of these cases, the shift involves moving from a reactive and sporadic approach (trying) to a proactive and systematic approach (training). Training implies a commitment to ongoing improvement and a structured plan for achieving goals, which tends to be more sustainable and effective in the long run.
Chances are, friends, if “trying” hasn’t been working for you it’s because trying never produces consistent results. Instead, I want you to flip your mindset and adopt a TRAINING mentality. Train for that health goal. Train for that marriage. Train to grow closer to God. Train to level up your business. Train to raise awesome humans. Train for forgiveness. Train to get into a better PM routine. Train to play the piano. Train to spend less time on your phone. Train to be patient in traffic.
Quit trying and train.
And in the meantime…if you’re loving this message today be sure to tap on the subscribe button, share this episode with your friends + followers, and let me know on social what you needed to hear MOST. I LOVE seeing what stands out to you each week and I love growing TOGETHER. Until next week…let’s get out there and TRAIN for the things we desire, amen? 🖤🤟🏼
PS…This website includes affiliate links. If you click and purchase, I may receive a small commission at no extra cost to you. I only recommend products + tools that I have personally reviewed, love, and/or use. You can read the full statement HERE.
