Let’s talk FINANCIAL SELF CARE | what is it + how can you PRACTICE it?
In today’s post we’ll chat thru…
① What is FINANCIAL SELF CARE
② Your RELATIONSHIP w/ MONEY
③ Your HABITS w/ MONEY
✨BONUS✨ MONTHLY FINANCIAL TRACKER FREEBIE
LET’S DIVE IN. 🖤
Hello hello friends! I’m really pumped for today’s topic and I’ll be honest…it was a stretch for me to put this together bc it’s an area I’m very new + fresh in and still have so much room for growth, but I love walking together in REAL TIME thru things I’m learning…so here we go.
At the start of the year I introduced ya’ll to an addition to the types of SELF CARE we talk about in this space - financial self care. And TBH…I was SHOCKED at the response from ya’ll in real time when the episode aired. I got so many messages thanking me for adding this into the mix and messages excited to hear more on this topic.
SO LET’S TALK ABOUT FINANCIAL SELF CARE.
If you’re newer around here…when I created this space last year I really wanted to peel back the layers on all things self care. It wasn’t sitting well with me that self care was this buzz word that actually translated to escaping from your life when you’re at the end of yourself. I wanted to drive home the idea that self care isn’t this thing you do once in awhile, but rather, REAL self care is a way you show up in the world. It’s a way of LIFE.
Sure it can be the indulgences or breaks from day to day roles and responsibilities. The mani’s. The massages. The bubble baths. Sure. But it doesn’t stop there. It goes way deeper.
Real self care is a deep ownership of your life. Taking care of you IN ALL WAYS so you can show up and do the things you were called to do in the healthiest way. Self care in this sense is not passive, it’s very much active. And the truth is, sometimes self care involves hard work. Self care is building a life you don’t need to escape from. Over and over and over again. It’s finding joy in your journey. It’s having discipline in the present so you can enjoy the future. It’s sometimes simple and unseen and unsexy. And that’s okay. In a world trying to convince you that if it’s not Instagrammable then it doesn’t matter, I’m here to remind you that the small stuff IS the stuff. And more often than not, “doing it right” is going to look different than what everyone else is doing.
So…the more and more I peeled these layers back on SELF CARE BEING A DEEP OWNERSHIP, I realized that there was a piece of my day to day missing from the equation. Something we ALL deal with each and every day. Something that is a major form of stress in our lives. Something that contributes to anywhere between 20-40% of all divorce in America. Something that, TBH, isn’t really taught or talked about much in the majority of schools or upbringings…something taboo that we often push under the table.
And that, my friends, is MONEY.
And you know I’m gonna go there, because this space is to create conversation around things we often suffer alone in silence. If you’ve ever been stressed about money, if you’ve ever been worried about money, if you’ve ever THOUGHT about money…I know you’re gonna benefit from today’s convo bc FINANCIAL SELF CARE NEEDS A SPACE IN OUR LIVES.
LET’S DEFINE FINANCIAL SELF CARE.
Financial self care is where we take ownership of our finances + take measures to save, spend, and steward our resources wisely.
Just like you can build a habit out of exercise as a part of a your physical self care routine, you can train yourself to also practice financial self-care and I want to talk today about HOW. I want to preface this with the fact that just like ANYTHING else in this space…
I’m not your guru.
I’m not the best expert in this field.
I’m not perfect in my practice.
And. I’m on journey. Finding things that work for me and figuring out what doesn’t…and I love passing all of it along to YOU. I love adding tools into my toolbox and the second I see the positive impact they make in my life…I love to share bc I love being a RESOURCE for you. So today are my pro tips from my trenches of getting financial self care wrong for A LONG FREAKING TIME. And…after speaking with lots of you after I added this pillar into the mix at the top of the year, I KNOW ya’ll are craving a little growth in this area, too. So let’s dive in to how we can actually START practicing a little financial self care. We’re going to look at financial self care in two ways today:
YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH MONEY.
YOUR HABITS/PATTERNS/CHOICES SURROUNDING MONEY.
Your Relationship with Money:
Everyone has a relationship with money. Relationship meaning your connection to it. And just like any relationship there are highs and lows. You could be really excited for a raise or bonus or that you saved up enough to buy a house. You could also hit some really low lows like paying off credit card debt or over-drafting your checking account. Totally not speaking from experience ha! Your relationship with money isn’t going to be perfect nor will it always be easy. Again…like any healthy relationship it takes effort.
Our relationship with money begins at a very young age. And everyone has their own unique relationship with money based on this. Without realizing it, your relationship with money can come from how the people around you handled and talked about it. This could have been your parents, teachers, grandparents, siblings, anyone of influence as you were being molded as a child. And it could even have come from what we read in books or saw on TV. Your values also play a huge role in your relationship with money. All these small interactions lead to how you accept money as adults as well as how readily you spend, save or gift money to others.
Based on all of this…we typically do one of four things -
We admire what we saw and take it with us into adulthood.
We didn’t love what what we saw modeled and do the opposite.
We do a mixture of both…take what works, leave and change what didn’t (my personal fave).
Or we mindlessly take zero notice which means our habits + relationship with money ultimately become a direct reflection of who and what have and are influencing us (the scariest one by far).
Ya’ll. Money is an essential part of our lives, yet many of us don't give much thought to our relationship with it. I fear we fall too often into category four. But our attitudes, beliefs, and habits toward money can have a significant impact on our financial well-being. So my goal today is to get you THINKING about your relationship with money…not necessarily fix/solve it. I feel like that’s an entire episode all on it’s own.
Here are some questions you can ask yourself about your relationship with money:
What is your earliest memory of money? Our earliest memories of money can shape our beliefs and attitudes towards it. And reflecting on our earliest memories of money can help us identify any negative or limiting beliefs we may have developed and work towards deciding whether they are serving us anymore. It’s also helpful to remember what your family would say (or not say) about money. I truly feel like our parents did the best with what they had, but that doesn’t mean we have to hold onto their mindsets as adults. I remember hearing “money will always be a problem” and that “we don’t have money for that” so I grew up with more of a scarcity, fear-based mindset surrounding money. Feeling like I would never have “enough.” Think thru some of your earliest messages + memories so you can decide if they are true for you anymore or something that was simply passed along.
How did you feel about earning your own money for the first time? Do you remember your first paycheck? I do. I remember getting those $350 from McDonald’s and it was FUN for me. Like I made it and I could do anything on my own. I didn’t “need” my parents anymore (jokes on me…bc $350 in hindset wasn’t actually a lot). This shaped me though and I’m sure it shaped you too. Think back. How did the first paycheck feel? Did you feel proud and empowered, or did you feel overwhelmed or unsure of how to manage your newfound income? Or maybe you didn’t have to work growing up…consider how that shaped you as well.
How do you feel about money in this moment? Money can bring up the full range of emotions and it can shift day to day…moment by moment. Maybe you’re anxious or stressed about how to pay the bills. Or maybe you’re guilty about a recent purchase. Maybe you feel confident and secure in this moment. Understanding your emotions can help you identify any limiting beliefs or behaviors you may have…but it can also show you that these fleeting feelings are not the firmest foundation to stand on. Don’t mistake your current feelings about money for the ultimate truth.
Do you use money to define your self-worth? This is such a tricky one bc I think we face this dilemma every day in our social media society where it’s easy to see what everyone else “has” with one quick scroll - tying your self worth to financial success/failure. I know I’ve often felt this one…that I’m only as good as the amount of money I earn or the possessions I own. Just know you’re not alone if this is you, too. It’s simply data we have about our relationship with money.
And then last thing I want to touch on today with your relationship with money are a few strategies/tools that have helped me over the years to improve my relationship with money…
read books/listen to podcasts to gain a fresh perspective as well as educate yourself
learn from the past but don’t linger on it
check your generosity
stop comparing your finances to others
seek out friends with like minded financial habits/goals/conversation
Your HABITS/PATTERNS/BEHAVIOR with Money:
Once we understand HOW we are thinking about money on an internal level, the second piece is to look at HOW we show up and save, spend, and steward our money. This looks like our habits, behaviors, and patterns surrounding money and not everyone has the same tendencies.Ken Honda (who is a researcher on the psychology of money and happiness) has found that there tend to be 7 personality types when it comes to our habits surrounding money.
The seven types are:
The compulsive spender - You tend to spend money on things you don’t necessarily need. You have an outgoing personality and love treating people to something special, sometimes for no particular reason. When you’re in emotional distress, your solution is to spend, especially for immediate gratification.
The compulsive saver - You put away money endlessly, sometimes with no actual end goal in mind. You believe saving money is the only way to feel more secure in life. You’re very frugal.
The compulsive moneymaker - You believe that earning more money is the secret to happiness. You spend most of your energy on trying to make as much money as possible. You get pleasure from the approval and recognition from other people for your financial success.
The indifferent to money - You rarely think about money (and just the idea of creating a budget makes you nauseous). In extreme cases, you believe that money is inheritably bad or evil. You feel strongly that money shouldn’t influence important decisions in life
The saver-splurger - You share common traits between Savers and Spenders. You start out saving a lot of money, but then give into spending impulses out of nowhere. When you do use your savings, you might spend on things you don’t need or will rarely use.
The gambler - You share common traits between Moneymakers and Spenders. The thrill of risk and promise of reward is a pleasure unto itself that you can quickly get lost in. You gamble away your money sometimes for the purpose of escaping boredom.
The worrier - It doesn’t matter how much money you have — you’re constantly worried that you’ll lose it at any given moment. You lack confidence in your abilities to achieve financial freedom. You constantly obsess over the worst case scenario of what will happen if you run out of money.
Each of these personality styles comes with pros and cons to it, but the idea is to see which one you gravitate towards and then build some awareness out of the habits that surround that style. Because each personality comes with it’s own unique set of habits, it’s helpful to determine what style you gravitate towards so you can make adjustments to your money habits accordingly. For example, if you’re a chronic saver you don’t need the advice a chronic spender might need, vice versa.
BUT Here are some WAYS I’VE FOUND HELPFUL TO CHECK IN ON YOUR HABITS with money…a little financial self care, if you will:
Create a weekly money date / spreadsheet so you can see your spending, saving, gifting in black and white
Get intentional with your spending - some ideas for this are looking at your spending as wants vs needs before mindlessly hitting purchase, have no spend days/weeks/months, get into a practice of adding to cart + then waiting 24 hours before purchasing to see if the feeling wears off, have a number that makes you accountable before you mindlessly spend
Talk with your spouse about your unique relationships with money + personality types
Look at subscriptions often and check in on what’s necessary
Look at your salary and determine if it matches your lifestyle, goals, etc. If you have big goals but not enough means to get there, maybe it’s time to seek a higher paying job or adding in a side hustle to the mix
Make lists when you go shopping + stick to them…this is for my spenders out there!
Make food at home vs eating out (again…for my spenders)
Consider how generosity + giving is woven into your spending patterns. Often we hold so tightly to the money we have, but I’ve found that the more freely I am to give generously, the more it comes back to me ten fold in ways beyond financial success.
Alright ya’ll. The first discussion of what I hope is more to come on all things financial self care. I honestly pray more than anything that this brought an AWARENESS into your world about how you’re viewing money…maybe where that thought process has stemmed from…and then realizing that our outer actions are often a result of an internal narrative. If you want to have a well rounded financial self care routine, it’s two fold - first we look at our relationship with money and the inner narrative we have and then we can track our outer habits surrounding saving, spending, and stewarding this resource wisely for our family, our lifestyle, our values, and our futures.
Last thing. I know it’s easier to have a template to go off of so I created a FREE financial planner template that you can download HERE. Steal my monthly template for looking at my finances and tweak it to make it relevant for YOU. Oh and then tag me on social bc I wanna celebrate you! I truly believe it’s not your salary that makes you rich…it’s how you create habits surrounding your spending that offers you the freedom to live life on your terms.
Okay friends. If you loved today’s topic and want to hear more about all things financial self care…and really just the journey of growth in general….be sure to tap on the subscribe button, share this episode with your friends + followers, and let me know on social what you needed to hear MOST. I LOVE seeing the ah-ha’s you’re having each week and I love growing our toolbox of resources TOGETHER. Until next week…let’s get out there and start PRACTICING a little financial self care. 🖤🤟🏼
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