How to BREAK UP with BUSY
In this post we’ll chat thru…
① Why we wear BUSY as a BADGE of honor
② CAPACITY + signs you’re EXCEEDING it
③ 5 ways to BREAK the grind of BUSY
LET’S DIVE IN. 🖤
We’re just about TWO WEEKS away from the launch of FALL in The Sisterhood Membership. And all month long in honor of our theme this season - BEYOND BURNOUT - I’m focusing on helping guide you thru all things overwhelm, stress, burnout, and busy.
Side note and shameless plug… 😜
We only open The Sisterhood Membership FOUR times a year and September 1st - 10th is ONE of those times. If you want to be FIRST in the KNOW when enrollment opens on September 1st, be sure to click on the link below to get on the wait list.
This season we are going BEYOND BURNOUT.
Recovering from chronic stress.
Recharging our spirits.
And reclaiming control in our lives for what matters most.
Getting OFF the hamster wheel of BUSY (which we’re gonna dive into together here today) and truly living a life that has meaning and purpose beyond “just busy.” Like I said…the window to join is only a few days and it only happens four times a year so I wanted to make sure I mentioned it first thing. If this topic is resonating with you I promise you that you’ll LOVE this season in the membership so tap the link below for all the details.
Okay let’s dive into today’s topic…How to BREAK UP with BUSY.
There have been so many times in my life that BUSY became this badge of honor. I’m sure you can relate. One of the hardest transitions for me was from the classroom into working full time. In the classroom I was BIZ. EE. And my exit from that space was supposed to give me time freedom. But it ultimately did the opposite bc I never changed anything about my mindset surrounding work. My learned behavior was that adults work 40 hours a week. So entering into entrepreneurship I adopted this mindset that I HAD to work 40 hours a week. Simply put…I had to be busy. I’d find work to do even if my mind was done for the day or my tasks were complete simply bc I felt…yep I’m gonna say it…LAZY if I wasn’t working all day every day.
This was a learned behavior that I didn’t challenge until I was BURNT OUT and at the end of my self. And again…as much as I don’t wish you were packed to the brim and burnt out…I sense you nodding along and relating bc time and time again I hear the same thing from women.
It’s not uncommon to ask someone “How are you?” and genuinely want an update on their life only to hear…Fine. Busy.
So many of us wear busy proudly. It makes us feel productive and important.
But friends. Think about it…
If you’re so busy what are you ACTUALLY busy doing? Most of the time we’re too busy for friends. We’re too busy for connection. We’re too busy for our own health. We’re too busy for self care. We’re too busy for goals + trying new things. But have you ever stopped to ask yourself what the heck you’re so busy DOING?
Usually it’s monotonous things. Route behaviors that have us surviving the day to day over THRIVING.
IDK about you but that’s not how I want to live my life.
The hard truth I’ve had to learn…
We like being busy because it makes us feel important. And it distracts us from all the things we’re ignoring. But all that busy motion mostly makes life boring, repetitive, and anything but interesting. Busyness keeps us from what matters most. Busyness is running, and TBH ruining, our lives. Today I want to guide you thru some things that have helped me break up with the chronic busy that has often consumed my day to day.
FIRST LETS TALK CAPACITY…
WE ALL HAVE LIMITS. It’s called capacity. Part of the chronic BUSY is simply that we’re operating over and over again at or above capactiy. This leads to stress and if you missed last weeks blog I HIGHLY encourage you to go back and give that a read…esp if you feel like you’re always in stress mode or anxious.
But back to capacity. I like to think of it like our devices. Phones TELLS US their capacity. It’s easy to look at your phone and know when it needs to be charged. When it’s ENERGY RESERVES ARE LOW. Depending on the type of phone it might operate differently bc it’s unique. And based on what the phone is DOING it might get depleted faster than with other functions. We are the same, friends. Imagine if we looked at ourselves that way. Imagine if we listened when our bodies told us it was time to STOP + RECHARGE. If we didn’t compare our energy to others. If we realized that day to day and activity to activity and season to season our energy reserves might look and function differently.
A couple signs you’re AT + EXCEEDING CAPACITY:
① You have a hard time controlling emotions.
② You can’t remember the last time you took care of YOU.
③ You get sick easily or you get sick once a big project / deadline / event is over.
④ You’re chronically late / running behind.
⑤ You self medicate / numb out / over indulging at the end of the day.
⑥ Important relationships have been placed on the back burner.
HOW to BREAK THE GRIND OF BUSY
A lot like a toxic relationship…sometimes we need to let go of what no longer serves us. If busy is your badge of honor and you’re looking for some strategies to take back control of your schedule and bring some meaning and purpose and fulfillment back into your life…then I’m hoping these 5 tips will help.
SIMPLIFY + DECLUTTER.
One of the first things you can do is look around at your environment. I talked about the idea of ENVIRONMENTAL SELF CARE a few weeks ago here. But a lot of times when I’m stressed…my environment is what’s actually stressing me out. Sometimes when we’re busy, our environment can get placed on the back burner. To take back control of your day to day do a REFRESH. Where can you simplify? Where can you declutter?
PUT YOURSELF ON THE CALENDAR.
Do you have a place on your calendar or is it only filled OTHER PEOPLES appointments, classes, agendas, meetings, etc? I highly encourage you…just like you put pen to paper and write down an important appointment you have…put YOU on your schedule. Morning routines. Bubble baths. A Saturday yoga class. Put YOU on the calendar so that you can show yourself that YOU matter, too.
GET OFF SOCIAL.
I find that distractions are what create “business” in my life. Sometimes I’m not even busy…I’m just wasting time. When I’m on social media I tend to be more concerned with CONSUMING other people’s lives than with CREATING my own. Sometimes it’s as simple as getting off social and getting back into real life. Go to your settings + screen time on your phone. See where you’re spending the most time and put some parameters around those apps. I have a “bedtime” for my phone from 8pm - 8am and it’s super helpful to get me off social and more intentional with my life.
DO SOMETHING FUN.
Again…we have things we LOVE to do and people we LOVE doing life with. So when we say we’re “too busy” what are we ACTUALLY so busy doing? What’s something that’s FUN for you? And how can you get it on your calendar immediately? Breaking up with busy is a LOT about how you can get more intentional with your calendar + place the things that matter most to you ON IT.
FOCUS ON ONE THING AT A TIME.
There might be parts of your day that are set in stone, such as commuting to work or a kid’s soccer practice. Put these COMMITMENTS in your calendar and LOOK AT THE CRACKS surrounding them. There should be cracks. There should be space. There should be room to breathe. And then…when you look at what’s getting a space on your calendar…how can you be FULLY PRESENT in that thing without allowing distractions to derail you? If you’re at the kids soccer practice…be there. If you’re at work…be there. If you’re home and cooking a meal…be there. How can you get back to doing ONE THING at a time?
LAST THING. ONE SIMPLE WORD SWAP CAN CHANGE EVERYTHING.
Okay and one last POWERFUL shift I’ve made in my relationship with BUSY is one simple word tweak. I’m learning that EVERYTHING is a choice. And when I gravitate into BUSY it signals, to me, that I’m not in control of my choices. I’m allowing too many outside distractions move me in my day to day. But when I’m in control. When I’m honoring my YES and my time and my vision for the kind of life I deeply desire I’m no longer BUSY. Instead…my plate is FULL. Instead of saying this week is super busy what if you reframed it and said “this week is super full.”
It helps me see it as running over. And that is a beautiful image bc busy tends to leave me and my batteries depleted. But when we can think of our batteries as FULL for all the people + things we are showing up to then it makes life a lot more intentional, right?
As we head into fall I know getting back to school and then back into the holidays can make stress build up and up and up. I actually have been polling my sisters in The Sisterhood Membership asking them what they NEED from the membership content in coming seasons and it was UNANIMOUS…
They feel OVERWHELMED, STRESSED, and BURNT OUT.
So that’s what we’re gonna tackle TOGETHER this fall in the membership. Enrollment isn’t quite open yet…that’'ll happen in a few weeks on Sept 1st but I want you to be PREPPED + READY when it opens.
Quick recap if you’re newer around here…
The Self Care Sisterhood is a virtual self care community for hard working women who also want to include THEMSELVES on their to do list. The sisterhood’s mission is to provide tools, resources, and community that equip and empower you to take care of YOURSELF (mind, body, + spirit), so you can go out into the world and LOVE + SERVE from the overflow. Each season there is a topic centered on various themes surrounding ALL THINGS self care…and this fall it’s ALL ABOUT GOING BEYOND BURNOUT.
If today’s post spoke to you and you’re ready to…
▫️stop living overwhelmed, stressed, and on the brink of burn out…
▫️implement healthy ways to cope with the daily (inevitable) stress in your life…
▫️gain clarity + focus + intention on what truly matters MOST to you in this season…
▫️and do it all surrounded by a group of women who GET YOU + are on JOURNEY WITH YOU…
Then tap below to get on the WAITLIST so you’re first to know when we open up registration.
I can’t WAIT to welcome you in. 🤍
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