8 UNIQUE ways I’ve INVESTED IN MYSELF + how you can, too
In today’s post we’ll chat thru…
① What does it mean to INVEST IN YOURSELF…esp as a WOMAN
② What is REQUIRED when you INVEST IN YOU
③ 8 UNIQUE WAYS I’ve INVEST IN MYSELF (+ how you can, too!)
LET’S DIVE IN. 🖤
Hello hello friends! I’m excited to be back on the show today with an episode that came about bc of a conversation my husband Charlie and I were having. We got to talking about investing. But not like the kind of investing you might think of…we were having a conversation about the many ways we’ve invested in OURSELVES as humans over the years and the impact that has made on us - in our personal lives, in our professional lives, and as a married couple. Investing in ourselves is a tough topic bc often the resistance, at least how I feel it in my own life, comes in the form of selfishness and guilt for spending the time, the money, or the energy on myself.
I’ve invested in myself with high ticket events that made me want to puke when I registered, but now sitting on the other side, so GRATEFUL I went all in and got in the room with like-hearted humans who desire to grow and evolve the way I do.
I’ve invested in myself with flights, hotels, and days spent away from my husband, home, and desk that made me worried I was “missing something,” but now sitting on the other side I realized the time I spent filling myself UP was paid back ten fold…I come HOME as a BETTER VERSION OF ME every time. And that makes the time away so worth it.
I’ve invested in myself with energy and a whole lotta sweat and tears to get the things that were once IDEAS on my HEART out into the world for others to share. Sometimes I’ve questioned if the energy was worth it…if I’d ever “get there” and every time I accomplish a goal I never look back regretting the energy I put into it. I only see the energy as an indicator of my potential…and it leaves me that much more focused + energized to take on the next mountain.
Basically I’m trying to say that INVESTING IN YOURSELF is kinda scary for a bunch of reasons and it’s why most people never take the time to do that. It’s easy to talk ourselves out of those big leaps but friends…those LEAPS have made all the difference in my life and I want to talk about some unique ways I’ve invested in myself over the years AND how you can, too.
LET’S DIVE IN. 🖤
WHY EVERY WOMAN SHOULD INVEST IN HERSELF…
There are so many different reasons why we might want to invest in ourselves, but at it’s root we typically want to improve our lives. I know we often think of investing with money, but when we invest in ourselves, just like in money…the outcome is a ROI - a return on investment. And the bigger the investment on yourself, the more noticeably you will improve.
If you invest in a professional course for my biz, you would hope to get a promotion or growth in sales.
If you invest in my health with a gym membership, you would hope to get stronger, lose weight, and improve my fitness.
If you invest in a marriage counselor, you would hope to see your communication improve, a stronger bond develop, and romance to build.
Simply put. We want to see a RETURN on what we INVEST in. So the starting point is to think about which areas in your life you’d like to see improvements. Where could you invest in yourself to see a return?
When we talk about investing in ourselves as women, we're not just talking about superficial changes or temporary fixes. We're talking about making strategic choices that have the power to transform our lives from the inside out. Whether it's nurturing our physical health, sharpening our professional skills, or deepening our emotional intelligence, every investment we make carries the potential for growth and fulfillment in what we’re doing and the life we’re living.
Because here's the truth: when we invest in ourselves, we're not just investing in the present moment; we're investing in our future selves. And that's a return that's worth every ounce of effort and dedication.
WHAT WILL IT COST YOU?
And that’s a perfect segway bc every INVESTMENT will COST you something. It might be in the form of TIME, as you dedicate hours to learning a new skill or prioritizing your health. It might be in the form of MONEY, as you allocate resources towards courses, therapy sessions, or a coach. It will certainly require EFFORT + ENERGY, as you push through challenges, confront your fears, and stay committed to your growth journey. But perhaps most importantly, it will demand a WILLINGNESS TO CHANGE —to step outside your comfort zone, challenge your beliefs, and embrace the unknown.
True transformation rarely comes without some degree of discomfort or sacrifice. Yet, when I can weigh the cost against the potential rewards of personal growth, the costs become investments in a brighter, more fulfilling future.
So, ask yourself: What am I willing to invest to create the life I desire? And then, with courage and conviction, take that first step towards your dreams.
Let’s dive into EIGHT {UNIQUE} WAYS I’VE INVESTED IN MYSELF over the years.
8 UNIQUE WAYS I’VE INVESTED IN MYSELF…
① KICK HABITS THAT NO LONGER SERVE ME
If you’ve been in this space with me long enough, you might’ve heard my perspective on habits and not calling them “GOOD” or “BAD,” but rather, deciding whether or not they’re in alignment with WHO YOU DESIRE TO BE + the DIRECTION SHE IS GOING. It’s helpful for me to remember that my habits come down to my choices and if you would’ve met me 10 years ago my choices were pretty crap.
I stayed out way too late.
I hung around with toxic circles + conversations.
I drank excessively and played around with drugs as a way to escape.
I had ZERO regard for my health and everything about how I behaved and the choices I made reflected THAT.
Those choices piled up into habits that I had to kick to the curb if I ever wanted to grow into my best self…the person I knew God created me to be.
Over time I cultivated a morning + evening routine vs staying out too late and not honoring my need for rest.
Over time I was able to remove myself from friend circles that led with toxic conversations and patterns and join tables where the conversation was elevated.
Over time I have worked to heal my relationship with alcohol and drugs and the need to feel like I have to numb out or escape.
Over time I’ve cultivated healthier routines.
What HABITS…what CHOICES are serving the direction you desire? What habits are SERVING the woman you want to be? The quicker you can kick those habits to the curb and cultivate better CHOICES, the more INVESTED in yourself you’ll be.
② READ BOOKS
Just like we go to the gym to be able to strengthen our bodies, we should also exercise our brains to be able to overcome the more difficult + challenging aspects of being human. For me, making personal development a number one priority in my day to day has been the BEST investment. Everything shifts when your mind is clear + strong.
Before I used to read books for personal growth I thought two things:
That people who needed self help books were probably crazy. And
That I was alone in a lot of my life experiences…misunderstood, etc.
What I realized was that self help books and personal growth are KEY TOOLS for all people who want to grow and stretch out of their current situation. And I realized I wasn’t alone. There were men and women who had walked the path ahead of me in whatever I was struggling with and offered guiding light for me to keep going. If you’re looking for a really simple way to invest in yourself, start with picking up a book.
③ HAVE A MEAL + MOVEMENT PLAN
I told ya’ll these would be unique and when I look back a HUGE way I’ve invested in myself is by having a PLAN. And more specifically a plan for my meals each week AND a plan for how I’ll move my body. Much of the stress of being healthy is that when we’re in the moment we are hit with decision fatigue.
I’m sure you can relate to this scenario: you say you’re going to eat healthy this week but you get in your car after work and you’re so tired - nothing was planned, the groceries may or may not be in the fridge and pantry, and there’s just other easier options - so you opt for the drive thru again and say tomorrow will be different. Friends. It won’t be. You have to DO something different if you want something DIFFERENT.
Or what about this one: the alarm goes off and it’s dark outside still, the covers are cozy, and you know you’re “supposed to” get up, but you don’t really have a reason - you hit snooze and sleep in saying that after work you’ll move your body. Except a meeting runs late, or someone unexpectedly needs you, or traffic was bad, or you’re just really tired. There’s so many reasons that your good intentions could get hyjacked…esp when you don’t have a PLAN.
There are TWO very specific plans I have EVERY WEEK that have allowed me to invest in my health day after day…week after week…month after month…year after year.
A MEAL PLAN. AND A MOVEMENT PLAN.
What’s you game plan when it comes to nourishing your body? What’s your game plan when it comes to moving her, too? And if you don’t have one, how can you INVEST IN YOU this week and create it. I promise your health will be that much EASIER to tend to when you have a plan for it.
④ UNDERSTAND THE POWER OF ENOUGH
When my husband Charles and I were living in California we joined a life group with our church that used the book, “The Power of Enough” as a study. Each week we read a chapter or two and came together to discuss. And what’s wild is that it was maybe a 6 week series at the most, but the IMPACT of reading a book and getting around conversation surrounding it has STUCK with me all these years. It’s why I have a book club as part of the model of The Sisterhood Membership. It’s also why the second way to invest in you is by reading. It’s powerful stuff.
But this book radically transformed my relationship with ENOUGH. In The Power of Enough, the author Lynn Miller digs into the idea of CONTENTMENT - two fold - basically looking at “stuff” and seeing what meaning we place on it AND then putting “stuff” in its proper place. More doesn’t always mean we’ll be content, yet we live in a world that stuffs itself FULL on this idea. That’s the American Dream. The accumulation of more, right?
And this has been my life. See stuff. Want stuff. Buy stuff. See better stuff. Want that more. Buy it, too. Investing in myself has required me to come face to face with my definition of ENOUGH and put STUFF in it’s place. There have been a couple pivotal moments in my life when I’ve had to look at material possessions and really decide if they were the thing making me happy or if there was more to life than just “stuff.” Let me share a couple that stand out the most:
While I was in college, my dad and step mom’s house burned down. It was an electrical fire and my step mom was home when it started. It all happened so fast that she could only grab the most essential things. She got their two dogs, Buddy and Louie, outside and then grabbed their tax files, a photo album, and my dad’s trumpet. Everything else was destroyed. And I remember my first face to face with understanding what really matters. The STUFF was gone. Like burned to the ground gone. Clothes. Furniture. Televisions. Computers. Everything gone. It’s stuck with me all these years that stuff can be gone in a moment AND that stuff doesn’t come with us once we’re gone.
Another pivotal moment was when I was packing my life into a tiny U-Haul trailer to move from Miami to California. I remember only the MOST IMPORTANT possessions could go bc I just didn’t have space. And I’ll never forget going thru my closet and seeing outfits that still had TAGS on them that I’d never worn. I worked across the street from a Target for most of my years as a teacher and on my lunch break I would often go over to the Target and shop. Looking back now I think it was a way to numb out, but over the years, gosh…I bought so. much. stuff. Clothing being a HUGE one. As a teacher I felt like I just needed to keep buying more work clothes but I was blown away when I realized that there were MANY ITEMS I spent my precious money on and never wore.
I’m not sure if this resonates with you right now, but can you see areas in your life where STUFF has consumed you? Have you ever considered what ENOUGH looks like to you in your life? What’s enough money? What’s enough of a house? What’s enough work? What’s enough as far as cars go? What’s enough on Amazon? What’s enough for your phone usage? What’s enough?
Learning the POWER OF ENOUGH and DECIDING IT for yourself is one of the best investments you can make. In a society that constantly pushes us to strive for more, embracing the power of "enough" is a radical act of self-love. It cultivates gratitude for what you ALREADY have and reduces feelings of inadequacy and comparison.
⑤ KEEP PROMISES TO MYSELF
When I was working specifically in fitness, so many women would come to me and share how they had lost their confidence and wanted to start working out in hopes to “find it.” The thing was…the confidence wasn’t hidden outside of themselves. It’s not hidden outside of you or me either. You have CONFIDENCE hidden inside of YOU. And confidence builds when we keep promises to ourselves.
I used to be the chronic yo-yo dieter and the woman who would work out for a few weeks only to lose her motivation and fire. It was a cycle I was trapped in and the truth was…every time I didn’t show up, I was ROBBING MYSELF OF TRUSTING MYSELF.
Think about it. If you had a friend who would always tell you TOMORROW I SWEAR WE ARE GOING TO HANG OUT. And then tomorrow would come and she would text you some lame excuse about the bed being so warm and that she hit snooze too many times. You’d really start to lose trust in her, right? Maybe the first time you’d let it slide…even the second or third…but when she REPEATEDLY bails on you, you start to learn she isn’t the kind of person you can trust.
The same is true for you. Every time you promise yourself something and then you bail on that promise, you teach yourself that you aren’t trustworthy. You start to disconnect from YOU. And that disconnection. That lack of trust. It lowers your confidence. Over time you think you’re confidence is gone, and that you need to deep dive into some sort of crazy 75 Hard Challenge to get it back. But the truth is…it’s there. Inside of you. Waiting for you to repair the relationship you have with YOURSELF.
Can you trust you? It’s okay if you don’t like the answer bc I couldn’t trust myself just a few years back. I had to become the type of woman who kept promises to HERSELF.
If I say I’m waking up and winning my morning. I plan for it and I show up for it.
If I say I’m moving my body today, I plan for it and I show up for it.
If I say I’m going to ditch alcohol for a bit, I plan for it and I do it.
Keeping promises to myself reminds me that I’m WORTH the time and effort and energy it takes to show up for ME.
⑥ TAKE MY M.E.D.S.
Jay Shetty is one of my fave podcasters and he has this idea he’s talked about on his show before about TAKING YOUR MEDS. I am a TOTAL advocate for taking the medications you and your doctor decide are best for YOU, whether for your physical health or mental health. For me, I have medications I take for my mental health that help the chemicals in my brain balance out. I’m all for it.
And.
I think if we all took our MEDS as Jay Shetty talks about…we’d ALL feel so much better. So what are the MEDS?
M - MEDITATION
E - EXERCISE
D - DIET (what you EAT, not a diet)
S - SLEEP
Rather than tackling all simultaneously, he suggests to start with SLEEP and then progressively move up one by one into the rest. A proper sleep routine can cultivate healthier eating habits. When we’re eating better, you feel motivated to exercise. And when you’re well rested, well nourished, and moving your body, the final step - Meditation - introduces mental stillness into the mix.
These for me have been the BEST INVESTMENT for my mental health game. I feel like we lean too heavily as a society on medication pills and quick fix drugs or supplements but when we can maybe mix the two together, I feel like we’ll have far healthier and sustainable results when it comes to our wellness.
⑦ ATTEND GROWTH BASED EVENTS
This one is HUGE ya’ll. And one I wasn’t exposed to in my previous life as a teacher. Sure we had in-services and such, but I’d never been to an event that was centered around my GROWTH as a human. Over the years I’ve attended online events, live events that had 10,000+ people in a stadium, and smaller retreat style events with as few as 12 of us together in a house. Every single one of these events leaves me better than it found me.
I’ve learned skills to take my business to the next level.
I’ve learned skills to take my marriage to the next level.
I’ve learned skills to take my spiritual life to the next level.
I’ve learned skills that take my confidence + self worth to the next level.
And I’ve met people that have become my INNER CIRCLE in life…helping me rally for my big dreams and supporting me along my journey.
Imagine a world where we all lean into growing + evolving as humans. Imagine a world where we invest in our growth bc we know the return on the other side will be something incalculable.
I’ll never forget when I signed up for my first HIGH TICKET retreat. It was $3500 and the facilitator of the retreat took 1/2 the payment immediately to secure the spot and the other 1/2 exactly one month later. I was freaked out bc I didn’t really “have” $3500 to spend on a retreat. I remember telling my husband Charlie how badly I wanted to get to this space and the first reaction from him was NO. It wasn’t in the budget. It wasn’t in the calendar originally when we planned the year. It wasn’t gonna happen. I felt super defeated going to bed that night but I figured he was right. That money was a stretch and it felt a little selfish.
But I woke up the next day with a FIRE IN MY BELLY and a gut feeling that I HAD to be at this retreat. I approached him again that next day with a stronger conviction of what that event would DO for me, for my business, for my future, for our marriage. Honestly ladies…one thing I’ve learned over the years is that men often want to see WHAT the price tag GETS. Once I explained to him how important this was for me…we got to work moving money around and shifting plans so we could make this happen. Not just for me. For us. Bc by me attending this event I was able to dramatically grow in the way I showed up to our marriage. It was transformative and I got back from that retreat thinking “I would’ve paid MORE for the value I got.” Seriously.
If you’ve never been to an event before that puts you in a room with like-hearted people and stretches you to be a better version of yourself, than I DARE YOU to find an event and…puke-feeling and all…sign up for it. And ps…if you need one, shameless plug for the very first SISTERHOOD RETREAT happening this Aug 30-Sept 2 in Tampa, FL. 😉
⑧ GET AROUND PEOPLE WHO AREN’T LIKE ME
You might’ve heard me say like-hearted people a few times in today’s episode and it’s something I’m working on saying more often. For the longest time I’ve said “LIKE MINDED” and honestly, sometimes being around only LIKE MINDED people is where we stunt our growth.
People who think like us. People who look like us. People who talk like us. People who eat like us. People who dress like us. People who love like us. People who vote like us. People who pray + believe like us. I think that causes more division in our world than anything.
Something as simple as getting around others who DON’T think, look, speak, eat, dress, love, vote, or pray the way I do have been some of the BIGGEST GIFTS in my life. I have intentionally placed myself in scenarios where I am the only person of my color in a space or with friends who love differently than me. Why? Bc they SHARPEN ME. You can never understand humanity if you don’t understand the people who make it up, right? It doesn’t mean I have to agree with everything others’ say, believe, or do. But I can have understanding. I can learn and grow and develop when I get around other views. And the same is true for you. How can you place yourself in spaces that aren’t the norm for you? Is it thru travel? Attending a different church or place of worship? Could it be as simple as saying HI to a neighbor or stranger in passing?
Broaden your view of the world by opening up your heart and allowing more people in.
SO there it is…8 UNIQUE ways I’ve invested in myself and hopefully you can grab onto these, too:
Kicking habits that no longer serve you.
Reading books that help you grow.
Having a meal + movement plan.
Understanding what ENOUGH looks like in your life.
Keeping promises to yourself to build that CONFIDENCE.
Taking inventory of your M.E.D.S. - Meditation, Exercise, Diet, and Sleep
Attending GROWTH BASED EVENTS
And stretching yourself to get another OTHERS who are DIFFERENT from you.
All of these will have a profound impact on the way you evolve as a human. You’re worth it to INVEST in you. Time. Money. Energy. And the willingness to change.
Be sure to take a screen shot of today’s episode and share it on social. Let me know where you’re listening to this and what you needed to hear MOST today. I LOVE seeing what stands out to you each week and I love growing TOGETHER. I love you. I’m rooting for you. And I can’t wait to see you back here next time on The SELF CARE Sisterhood Podcast. 🖤🤟🏼
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