STARTING OVER - why change Is scary and how to move through It
In this post we’ll chat thru…
① When CHANGE happens + STARTING OVER.
② My journey with CHANGE.
③ Practical tips + encouragement if you’re navigating a TRANSITION SEASON.
Let’s dive in. 🖤
Hey Hey SISTERHOOD!!! 👋🏼 Super pumped for today’s topic bc it’s one of my FAVE things to teach on, but quick little shameless plug before I dive in…
WE ARE HITTING 100 EPISODES TO WRAP UP 2024 AND IN CELEBRATION, I HAVE A GOAL TO HIT 100 5 STAR REVIEWS ON APPLE PODCASTS!!! The thing is, though, while I can create 100 episodes on my own, I can only create one review on my own. The other 99 have to come from YOU…this community that I love so much. If you haven’t left a 5 star and review over on Apple Podcasts, I would be so grateful for you to rally with me as we wrap up the year and push out our 100th episode in this space. Which I can’t even believe I’m saying! All you have to do is pause this episode (if you’re the type that won’t remember) and scroll down to the bottom of the show page where you’ll be able to tap 5 stars and leave a written review.
Okay…now to the good stuff…what ya’ll came for today - LETS TALK ABOUT STARTING OVER and why CHANGE CAN FEEL SO SCARY.
Change is inevitable. We know this, right? And yet it rarely feels comfortable when we’re actually GOING THRU change. This episode was one I really realized I need to do. A little backstory for context - Recently, a major shift took place in the company I had been partnered with for over a decade. The MLM I was part of made a pivot, shifting their entire model to an affiliate structure — leaving many, including coaches, trainers, and employees, in shock. These changes came without warning, disrupting the livelihoods of many who had built their lives around mentoring teams. While I stepped away from the business two years ago, it still breaks my heart bc this was a HUGE PIECE of my life and journey and I know it is for so so many. The teams and community…that was truly the best part. Whether you love the structure of an MLM or not, I met some of my very best friends, traveled the world, got to gift my husband incredible things, it blessed our family abundantly. And to see it go just signals the end of an era for so so many. And it got me thinking about change. Two years ago I went thru the weight of change when I decided to lay down my business and start fresh. When you put time, heart, energy, and a deep commitment into building something that you truly believe is legacy making and impact driven…gosh it’s HARD, ya’ll. Closing that decade long chapter of my life came with a lot of healing behind the scenes. It might have looked from the outside that I just hopped on over to something new and began building this, but behind the scenes I navigated losing friendships, what my identity was rooted in and how I was supposed to show up now, heavy emotions, wondering if I made a mistake, loneliness, all of it. And the biggest thing I need you to know is that -
IT’S HARD TO GRIEVE SOMETHING THAT ISN’T DEAD.
That being said, this episode isn’t about MLMs — it’s about something much deeper: CHANGE. And after this announcement was made…as someone who was already two years into her journey of having to say goodbye to this company, I realized if anyone knows about navigating the discomfort and uncertainty of transitions, it’s me.
My Journey with Change
From calling off my wedding with my first love. Switching career paths. Moving across the country multiple times - GOSH, I’ve seen my fair share of changes. I did this exercise the other day where I wrote out a timeline of my life. Have you ever done this? The last time I did this I was probably in elementary school or something. And what’s wild is the majority of change has happened in the last 20 years…the first 20 years were pretty straightforward. It’s wild to see these periods that felt like FOREVER when I was in the midst of transition, actually out on paper and looking like a blimp. I’m telling you - every major life decision I’ve made has felt like a leap into the unknown — filled with all the emotions - excitement, fear, loss, growth. And every time I made a pivot in my life bc I’d get this gut feeling that I wasn’t meant to be on that path anymore, I had to release the comfort of the familiar and trust in the process, even when the process felt really freaking hard.
Here are a few key changes I’ve navigated over the years:
I called off my wedding at age 21, which shattered my expectations of what my life was supposed to look like. I lost so many friends and even jobs during this time bc everything was intertwined with him.
After graduating college with my education degree, I left Michigan to build a new life in Florida bc that’s really the only place I was able to get a job right out of college.
I met a guy in Miami and after a six-year relationship that was basically headed no where, I found the strength to walk away, which meant losing not only a partner but also shared friend groups.
After that relationship, I met my soul mate and after he proposed I went thru a HUGE season of change - moving from Miami to CA, leaving behind a teaching career to coach wellness full-time, and even stopped coaching in the performing arts world - which was a huge piece of my identity and friend circle - all gone with that leap.
My husband and I have moved from California to Dallas to Tampa, and every move has brought new opportunities and also, new challenges.
And then two years ago, I stepped away from wellness coaching entirely to start this podcast and build a community of women seeking real self-care and real growth.
I share these personal experiences not to suggest that change is easy, but to remind you that change is CONSTANT. It’s a thread woven in and out of our lives. And through every transition, even the most painful ones, I’ve come to see that it’s okay to lose people, to start over, and to feel lost for a while.
We all experienced a collective wave of change and uncertainty during COVID, which reshaped how we live, work, and connect with one another. If that season taught us anything, it’s that change is inevitable—and we’re capable of navigating it.
If you’re in the middle of your own transition — whether it’s a job, a relationship, a city, or stage of life — this is for you. I want to offer some encouragement RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE as you navigate change and transition. And…even if you’re not in the middle of a change, I promise, you will be soon, right?
Practical Tips for Navigating Change
When I look back at my journey, there are a few key things I wish someone had told me when I was in the messy middle of navigating change. Here’s what I want you to know:
1. You will lose friends, and that’s okay.
Some people are only meant to journey with you through certain seasons of life, not your entire life. I lost friend groups when I left relationships, moved cities, and changed career paths. At first, it felt lonely and isolating, but it taught me that not every connection is forever—and that’s okay. The people who are meant to be in your life will stay, and new, deeper connections will form when you step into new spaces. It’s also given me a greater appreciation for people. I’m constantly learning from people who are not like me. Who weren’t raised where I was raised. Who don’t think the way I think. Vote the way I vote. Love the way I love. Pray the way I pray. Celebrate or eat the way I do. And it’s a humbling experience to realize that your way is not the only way, nor is it necessarily the “best” way. Meeting new people has given me so much to chew on as far as what I believe and how I want to show up in the world.
2. You will have to start over and be a beginner again, and that’s how you grow.
Whether it’s launching a new career, moving to a new city, or starting a new relationship, you will have to embrace the role of a beginner which I know can sound terrible. And I get it. It can be uncomfortable, but it’s also an invitation to grow. The fear of starting from scratch is real, but you have to remember: every expert was once a beginner. The beauty of being a beginner is the opportunity to learn, expand, and challenge yourself in ways you never imagined.
3. It will feel uncomfortable, and that’s normal.
We all want to skip the discomfort and get to the “good part,” but the uncomfortable moments are where real transformation happens. When I first stepped into wellness coaching after teaching for so long, it was a huge identity shift. I felt like an impostor and wanted to run back to what I knew. Like “who was I to be giving others health advice?!” But I kept living AS IF I was that type of woman and one day, it didn’t feel so awkward anymore. Discomfort is a signal that you’re growing. And you know in this space I’m gonna remind you that GROWTH LOOKS GOOD ON YOU. So keep going — even and esp when it feels messy, awkward, and challenging.
4. You will find yourself wishing you were back in your old life—and that’s okay too.
There will be moments when you miss your old life and the comfort of what was familiar. We’re dealing with this in real time right now. We love Tampa and we love our home here…AND we miss our neighborhood in Dallas, some of our fave restaurants, being near family and friends, and our house…GOSH we miss our old house. 🥹 It’s normal to look back and long for what you had. But we have to keep reminding ourselves that life isn’t there anymore. As hard as it is, you can’t go backward — and that’s not where your growth lies. It’s okay to lay down those thoughts and feelings. I do it over and over and over again. It’s kind of a daily thing for me. You’re allowed to grieve what was good. Saying goodbye doesn’t mean it was a bad thing, sometimes we say goodbye to really amazing things. Grieve what you need to, but then look ahead at the possibilities in front of you.
5. You don’t need to have all the answers right away.
When we go through change, it’s easy to feel pressure to know exactly what’s next. This is me to a T. And the truth is, I have to remind myself that it’s okay to not have everything figured out. I find in my life, that the clarity comes in the doing, in taking one small step at a time. As much as I want to, I can’t rush this. It has to happen organically. My life almost always feels like a slow then suddenly sort of dance. Things feel slow and nothing seems to be happening and then SUDDENLY the next opportunity presents itself. My part to play is that I position myself for the “suddenly moments” by showing up and doing the next best thing. Don’t rush the process but also don’t sit back idly — give yourself permission to grow into the new space you're stepping into and the answers will come when they need to.
6. You might need to slow down—and that’s part of the process.
I feel like this one has to be said bc watching me over the last year I can see where it would seem like I moved and jumped right into all the things. And I did, but they were the things that aligned with my values and vision for my life. Things like church, finding friends, making our house feel like home. But in other areas of life…man I really slowed down so I could get still enough to hear what is next and if the choices I’m making are aligned. In seasons of change, it’s easy to feel the urge to push forward quickly, but sometimes change requires us to slow down and reassess. When I shifted businesses two years ago I did it SLOW. I’m still doing it SLOW. Because I don’t want to hustle my way into burnout again. I needed to slow down to make sure I was rebuilding exactly how I wanted to. It’s okay to take a pause, reflect, and re-center yourself. Slowing down gives you the clarity and energy to move forward with intention, rather than out of panic or fear.
7. Your identity will shift, and that’s where the magic happens.
Major life changes often come with shifts in our sense of self. There was a season I was the performer. Then I was the teacher. Then I was a wellness coach. And now…gosh IDK, I’m still trying to figure out what that looks like. Maybe I’m just a creative now? IDK. But the truth is, when life changes YOU CHANGE. And the hardest thing is not feeling like "you" during the process. But friends…this is where personal growth happens. You’re evolving. The things that once defined you may no longer resonate, but that’s part of stepping into a fuller, more authentic version of yourself. And the magic happens when you realize that old identities you carried were simply labels that no longer fit.
The Consistency of Change
We often think of change as something that happens to us, but in reality, it’s one of the few constants in life. We change jobs, relationships, homes, and even ourselves. And while it’s easy to resist change or fear it, the truth is that change is always an opportunity for something new, something greater. It’s a chance to step into the unknown and trust that, on the other side of uncertainty, there’s growth, healing, and new beginnings.
Whether you’re navigating the loss of an identity you held onto, the end of a relationship, a move to a new city, or deciding on a career change, I want you to remember: you are capable of handling whatever comes next. You’ve done it before, and you’ll do it again. Each time you embrace change, you become more resilient, more adaptable, and more in tune with the direction your life is meant to take.
So, if you’re in the messy middle of a transition, keep going. Trust the process. You don’t have to have it all figured out today. Take one step at a time, breathe through the discomfort, and believe in your ability to grow through the unknown.
Embrace the consistency of change. It’s leading you somewhere beautiful.
If you made it this far, I’m so grateful for you and don’t forget that I would LOVE if you could end this episode by scrolling down to the reviews section in Apple Podcasts and leave a 5 star review for the show. We are going to hit 100 episodes to end 2024 and I have a goal to have 100 5 star reviews to match. ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
I hope today’s conversation has left you encouraged if you’re navigating a season of change or transition. I’m so excited for where these changes are taking you and the growth that is waiting on the other side. You’ve got this. I’m rooting for you. And I can’t wait to see you right here, next time, on The SELF CARE Sisterhood Podcast.
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