FEEL the FEAR...but DO THE DANG THING anyway
In today’s post we’ll chat thru…
① What being BRAVE actually means
② How to FEEL YOUR FEAR in a healthy way
③ And how ACTION will be your secret weapon to making progress towards what matters most.
LET’S DIVE IN. 🖤
Hey hey SISTERHOOD! Happy {almost} Halloween and happy {almost} end of another month! This month has been a wild one for our family with travels and such….and IDK about you but October FLEW BY. Yes I’ve been focused. Yes I’ve been intentional. And YES…home girl is ready to be home and into some routine. Ya feel me? 😜
Today’s blog is going to be a quick one bc I want to hype you up + encourage you as I’m home and coming up for some air. I started opening up and sharing a bit of my story with laying down my health + fitness coaching business and taking the leap to start this podcast and expand on this community we’ve been building together and gosh ya’ll…
IT. WAS. SCARY.
Fear was a HUGE piece of what held me back before taking this leap. And for good reason, right? I know we tend to think of fear as a “negative” emotion, but fear actually serves an important role in keeping us safe from potential danger. Like…I’m GLAD I feel fearful when I hear a noise at night in my backyard bc it helps me navigate what to do next. I’m GRATEFUL that I learned to fear a hot stove bc I know as an adult to keep my hands off of it. Fear can be helpful. So that’s why today I’m not going to tell you to NOT feel fear. Or give some inspirational message like “be FEARLESS" when that’s not even realistic.
Nope.
Fear is real. You can feel it and we aren’t going to pretend it doesn’t exist. It rises up in our bodies when there’s a threat of any kind- physical, emotional, psychological…and ya’ll…it doesn’t even have to be a real fear. Our bodies react the same to imagined fears as well. That’s why today’s conversation is so powerful, friends, bc it’s a two part…yin and yang…kinda conversation. I want to help you learn how to ACKNOWLEDGE AND FEEL your fear. AND. I want to coach you to DO THE DANG THING anyway.
Let’s dive in. 🖤🤟🏼
1. FEEL THE FEAR
You can’t be BRAVE unless you feel fear first.
Let that sink in. 👆🏼
That woman you admire who seems so courageous? She takes the leaps + risks and seems to do it so fearlessly?! While you’re watching, wishing, and waiting…she’s WORKING. She’s DOING. And it’s so attractive to witness, right?
But hear me on this…her example? That thing that she looks so FEARLESS doing? It requires bravery. And bravery can only exist if you’re doing something scary. So bravery can’t be a display of fearlessness. It just can’t.
When I look back on what held me back from leaping out of a space that I truly had outgrown it was the idea that I was GOOD at it. I knew how to wake up and do that job and do it well. This? Starting a podcast? Building a new brand and website and community? It was scary. There’s nothing FEARLESS about the leap. It was quite FILLED with fear.
I’ve talked about this idea of fear being allowed IN the car but that it can’t drive it and I wanted to share where I’ve gotten that reference from. In Elizabeth Gilbert’s book “BIG MAGIC” she shares this idea called “The Road Trip.” She explains that in order to deal with her fear she made a decision that if she wanted creativity, big goals, dreams, and fulfillment to come to fruition in her life, she would have to get comfortable with fear being there, too. There would have to be “space” for the fear to coexist with the dreams. Here’s a short excerpt from the book that I love:
"Dearest Fear:
Creativity and I are about to go on a road trip together. I understand you’ll be joining us, because you always do. I acknowledge that you believe you have an important job to do in my life, and that you take your job seriously. Apparently your job is to induce complete panic whenever I’m about to do anything interesting—and, may I say, you are superb at your job. So by all means, keep doing your job, if you feel you must. But I will also be doing my job on this road trip, which is to work hard and stay focused. And Creativity will be doing its job, which is to remain stimulating and inspiring. There’s plenty of room in this vehicle for all of us, so make yourself at home, but understand this: Creativity and I are the only ones who will be making any decisions along the way. I recognize and respect that you are part of this family, and so I will never exclude you from our activities, but still—your suggestions will never be followed. You’re allowed to have a seat, and you’re allowed to have a voice, but you are not allowed to have a vote. You’re not allowed to touch the road maps; you’re not allowed to suggest detours; you’re not allowed to fiddle with the temperature. Dude, you’re not even allowed to touch the radio. But above all else, my dear old familiar friend, you are absolutely forbidden to drive.”
Isn’t that AMAZING? It’s literally stuck with me all these years and I continue to share the concept bc I’ve lived it out and breathed it and seen the fruit that comes when you don’t allow fear to control your choices.
YOU HAVE TO FEEL THE FEAR + MAKE SPACE FOR IT. THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS FEARLESS WHEN YOU’RE PURSUING A LIFE ON PURPOSE.
Okay but HOW do I feel the fear? What are some tangible ways you can walk away from this episode and implement the FEELING for fear? Well first…
FEAR GROWS IN DARKNESS.
Feeling the fear does NOT mean you simply internalize it to the point where you talk yourself out of the big thing that’s been laid on your heart. Fear alone in your own mind grows.
So we have to GET IT OUT.
▫️Talk about it with someone you can trust with your tiny seed of a dream/idea.
▫️Journal about it and put pen to paper.
▫️Create a mantra for your biz or goals to remember + recite when fear creeps in.
▫️Move your body or change up your scenery / vibe when you feel fear rise.
These are just a few ideas but the key is to FEEL THE FEAR OUTSIDE OF YOUR MIND. The more it loops itself on repeat IN your mind, the more it will grow in that dark place and we don’t want that.
2. DO THE DANG THING ANYWAY
More often than not I find that we get stuck in the first part of this episode. We are REALLY good at feeling the fear, amen? But if all you do is feel the fear then fear gets in the way. It will cause you to make choices that are easy and safe and unhealthy for the highest version of you vs act courageously and move forward with positive action and preparation for a life you freaking love building.
The former is easier in the moment, but comes with great regret and consequences later. And the latter is tougher in the moment…I get this…but it’s the route to building your dreams + desires…and that’s why we’re here together, right?
I once heard this idea that you have to be the CEO of YOU. And by C.E.O., I mean “Chief Energy Officer.” There is NO ONE looking out for you but you, sis. That’s why self care is the foundation of what we do here.
If you’ve been allowing fear to drive the car and not pursuing your dreams or goals bc you’re worried what Sally on the internet or Aunt Carol is going to think of you then the first thing I need you to do is get laser focused on being the CEO of YOU. How are you managing your energy? How are you taking care of YOU? Trust me. There would be no SELF CARE Sisterhood or @inspirebeautybritt without a happy, healthy Brittany. So I work HARDER on Brittany than you’d expect.
My ENERGY.
My KNOWLEDGE BASE + SKILL SET.
My HABITS, BEHAVIORS, and ROUTINES.
My FOCUS + INTENTIONS.
And I share this bc the FIRST thing to get cut when you’re stressed, tired, overwhelmed, or anxious are these very assets. We repeat the lame excuse that we don’t have time. We wait on our dreams until we’re less busy. But spoiler…LESS BUSY ISN’T COMING.
When we cut things like sleep, self care, time with loved ones, fitness, eating well, hydrating you stay stuck, safe, and living in a whole lotta SAME. Ya feel me? I’ve been there. That’s what caused me to leave the classroom and pursue my fitness coaching business bc I was so sick and tired of the SAME SAD STORY I kept telling myself. And fear loves this ya’ll. LOVES IT. This is when fear wins bc it’s keeps you miserable for the sake of same.
But that’s where we shake things up. Feel the fear…and now…do the dang thing anyway. Starting with managing your energy AND THEN…
MAKE FORWARD MOVEMENT.
Momentum is everything, ya’ll. If fear has a nemesis it would be ACTION. It truly is your secret weapon bc fear loses it’s power when you pick up momentum bc it’s not that you CAN’T DO SCARY THINGS…it’s that for most of us…we DON’T. We spend so much time buying the planner, the markers and highlighters…setting up our new home office…creating graphics on Canva. Meanwhile, we forgot to even tell people that we have a business and can offer them help. I did this for a long time in my health and fitness biz. I loved “playing” coach. I would clock in and sit at my desk and scroll social media pretending like I was working. But I didn’t have a growing social media account offering value. I didn’t have clients. And I learned real quick that if you don’t have a solution to people’s problems and you don’t have actual people to work with…you don’t have a business. I needed to take ACTION that helped me build the biz. I had to post on social consistently. I had to network and reach out to potential clients. I had to invite women to join my online community. It was scary and it was uncomfortable and I certainly wasn’t that great at it when I started…but I had to START.
We get trapped in the getting ready to start and fear also loves this. When you are getting ready it’s fun and exciting and you have those butterflies of dreams on your heart…of what COULD BE. But when you don’t put in the actual right work you don’t reap the results. And then you get frustrated that it’s not working. No honey…YOU DIDN’T WORK. 😉 Hear my heart. I’ve been there and I’ve mentored so many women in this space. Fear wins when frustration kicks in. It’s that voice that says “I told you so…you could never actually do that…”
Whether “that” is a new fitness plan.
Trying to conceive.
Going on a dating app and putting yourself out there.
Starting the new biz.
Meeting new friends.
Saving money.
Locking in on a new routine.
Whatever your “that” is…I promise you that fear would love it if you never even got started.
So. FEEL THE FEAR…like OUT of your head, right? But then ALSO DO THE DANG THING anyway. Not like kinda sorta trying…not halfway in and halfway out. Not like fake showing up. Actually DO THE DANG THING. And then? Give it enough time for the fruit to actually come. Remember that the day you plant the seed is not the day you’re gonna eat the fruit. You’ve got to WORK AT IT. Try. Mess up. Tweak. Try again. Over and over and over again. You’ve got this. I’m forever rooting for you and I can’t wait to see a lot of women who are no longer subscribing to the lie that you have to be FEARLESS…as well as women who are showing up and doing the dang thing.
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