In this post we’ll chat thru…

① When life feels OUT OF CONTROL + REASONS we might be feeling this way.
② The CIRCLE of CONTROL.
③ Encouragement for those OUT OF CONTROL seasons

LET’S DIVE IN. 🖤

Hey hey friends! Last week I officially announced our BIG LIFE UPDATE on the blog…but if you didn’t hear WE ARE MOVING TO FLORIDA!!!

Last week I shared some tips that help me battle the FEARS that can come with CHANGE, but this week I wanted to take it a little deeper and chat thru what to ACTUALLY DO when life simply feels out of control. I’m sure you’ve felt it before. I know I have. And so I wanted to take this week to give you (and myself…bc we’re totally on journey TOGETHER, right?! 😜) a little PEP TALK.

I used to think I could just POWER THRU these sorts of out-of-control seasons. That I could hustle and grind my way to the other side in order to make the time pass. But that left me really anxious and at times ILL on the other side. Friends. It doesn’t take much for our mental health to be affected by our situations. A poor night of sleep. Changes to your workload. A new job. Moving. A death in the family or a relationship wounded. Shoot even traffic! Our bodies are ALWAYS talking to us. Regardless of how big or seemingly small the event is…these can have a deep impact on your stress level which is why it’s CRUCIAL to take inventory when you feel OFF vs ignore it and keep on hustling.

When I’m typing these posts out I like to envision that I’m chatting with a past version of me…telling HER what she needed to hear. So first I’d say…It’s NORMAL to feel off. There are SO many reasons why you might feel out of control. It could be an uncertain future that’s giving you anxiety. Or maybe you’re constantly considering others without ever considering yourself and you’re about to burst. Maybe your health has taken a turn and that makes you feel out of control. Or maybe something in society has you feeling uneasy. A toxic environment could also cause you to feel off. Again. It’s normal and these seasons happen to all of us. But, my friends, it’s not normal to camp out there. I want you to walk away today with TOOLS in your toolbox to help you get anchored when the inevitable stormy seasons of life make you feel a little out of control.

THE CIRCLE OF CONTROL

The first time I truly acknowledged that I struggle with anxiety and depression I started seeing a therapist to help me walk and talk thru some of the things I was experiencing.

🤍✨SIDE NOTE: I’m a HUGE fan + advocate for therapy… regardless if you have anxiety or depression. 🤍✨

One of the skills my therapist taught me in the very beginning was something called a circle of control. I would get so impacted by others’ emotions….by others’ actions (and inactions)…that it would literally cripple me. We talked repeatedly about looking at WHAT I COULD CONTROL vs WHAT WAS OUT OF MY CONTROL.

This is HELPFUL for me in seasons when life feels out of control. To focus on what’s in my control and to really practice letting go of the things I can’t control.

For example. When I was in the beginning years of my fitness coaching, I used to get really frustrated when my clients would say one thing and then not follow thru. Normal right? People do this all the time. But for me…before I had the skill set to handle this, it would derail me. I’d turn their lack of ownership + responsibility into a false narrative that I wasn’t good enough at my job.

Maybe you do this, too.

That coworker who is SO FREAKING NEGATIVE and you find when you walk away from being in their presence your whole mood is destroyed.

That family member who is always teasing you for your food choices and makes you question your goals.
That friend who stopped talking to you and it makes you think you much not be friend material.
That traffic on your commute home that makes you open up a bottle of wine upon entering the apartment.
Or when your boss picks someone else + you get overlooked it makes you question if you’re actually wanted, needed, or any good at your job.

These are ALL EXAMPLES of things that are OUT OF YOUR CIRCLE OF CONTROL.

Other examples OF THINGS YOU CAN’T CONTROL include:

What others say or think
The weather
The past
The future
What other’s choose to do
What is happening around you
World Events
And circumstances.

And i know that gets frustrating bc man do we so desperately want to create this fantasy world where everything is in our control?! I promise I get this. Other people…outside circumstances…they used to derail me. One bad mood. One critic. One traffic jam. A bad moment would often turn into a BAD DAY.

So in seasons when life gets chaotic and things are uncertain…WHAT DO YOU CLING TO? WHAT CAN YOU CONTROL? This is where I like to take my focus.

Let’s chat thru some of my FAVES. You can control…

the way you manage your time
how you show up
who you follow or unfollow
your rest
your choices
your habits
what you consume (with your eyes, ears, + mouth)
your attitude
your mindset
your response
being kind
who you hang out / surround yourself with
who + when + how you ask for help
boundaries
what gets your “YES” and what gets your “NO”
and how you view yourself/talk to yourself

Friends. In REAL TIME…I’m clinging to this list. It’s my super power in the storm. Just the other day I was feeling SUPER DUPER OVERWHELMED with all the things going on in our life as we transition to Florida.

Closing on the house there.
Packing here.
Selling things we can’t take/don’t need.
Getting our house on the market.
Showing + selling this house.
Keeping it clean but packing all at the same time.

Oh and keep building this business. Keep showing up for all the things that are already on your plate.

I was FEELING it. 😭🤯

And I knew I had to take a deep breath and simply LET. SOME. THINGS. GO. I had to let go of the stuff that was out of my circle of control and take some ownership and action with what I COULD CONTROL.

I made a list to map out the next few weeks. I made sure my physical health was on the schedule. I made sure my work was time blocked and focused. I made sure I had meals planned to make life easier. I made sure to ask for help. And. I made sure that FUN + FRIENDS + FAMILY got pockets of my YES bc that matters to me in this season. It can’t all be packing and serious stuff.

So what does that look like for YOU in similar seasons? What are you CLINGING to that is in your CONTROL? There are so many things we can’t control in life. But friends…there are SO MANY THINGS WE CAN. Instead of spiraling into a space where you feel anxious and worried about the unknown or the overwhelming things that come up…

TAKE A PAUSE.
TAKE A BREATH.
CONSIDER WHAT’S OUT OF YOUR CONTROL.
BRAVELY LAY IT DOWN + LET IT GO.
THEN SIT DOWN + MAP OUT WHAT YOU CAN CONTROL.
SHOW UP TO IT. HONOR IT.
AND REMIND YOURSELF THAT THIS TOO SHALL PASS…

What’s on the OTHER SIDE of this season will be THAT MUCH SWEETER if you can give yourself the gift of staying ANCHORED to your circle of control. If you can be the type of woman who takes OWNERSHIP over her own life, goals, and daily to do list (even in the chaos) and doesn’t live life paralyzed and suffocated with the thoughts, opinions, actions, mood, and circumstances of others…you will come out of this season feeling so freaking CONFIDENT that you can handle whatever life throws at you. Because it will, right? It’s not about never having storms. It’s about knowing how to grab an umbrella and find joy in the rain. 🌈

Even in the out-of-control-seasons…even if you feel overwhelmed or stressed…let me remind you…

A previous version of you wouldn’t have handled it as WELL as you are handling it right now. Think about it. You’re here. You’re trying. You’re growing. You’re responding better and letting go faster than you did before. And that GROWTH?! It looks GOOD ON YOU.

So chin up. This storm won’t last forever, but who you’re growing into THRU THIS SEASON will. YOU GOT THIS. I’m rooting for you forever and always. 🖤

PS…This website includes affiliate links. If you click and purchase, I may receive a small commission at no extra cost to you. I only recommend products + tools that I have personally reviewed, love, and/or use. You can read the full statement HERE.