a {LOVING} gut check on INFLUENCE 🖤

In today’s post we’ll chat thru…

① Friendly REMINDER- our FIRST SISTERHOOD RETREAT is OPEN FOR ENROLLMENT!
② Living in the CONNECTED SOCIAL MEDIA world + how that influences us/our choices.
③ Two Questions that are really helpful when considering INFLUENCE.

LET’S DIVE IN. 🖤

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Hello hello friends! I’m pumped up for a quick LOVING NUDGE episode today but before I get to that I have to remind you…at the time I’m recording this we are already selling out of spots for the VERY FIRST SISTERHOOD RETREAT and if you’re looking for a girls weekend meets self care meets all things growth and making PROGRESS towards what matters most to you…you’ve got to hurry up and grab a spot at our 2024 PATHWAY TO PROGRESS RETREAT. It’s here in Tampa FL, August 30th - Sept 2nd and all the details + link to grab your spot are on my website - www.inspirebeautybritt.com/retreat OR you can DM me on Instagram with any q’s and I’m happy to help. Just wanted to pop in and share bc the spots are going to go and once the 10 fill up I won’t have space until I announce the next retreat. Okay…let’s jump into today’s topic:

At the start off the year I dove into a book from one of my favorite Christian Authors, John Mark Comer. He’s the author of my FAVE book “The Ruthless Elimination of Hurry” and when his newest book, “Practicing the Way” came out at the top of the year, I knew I had to get my hands on it.

Something that stood out to me that I can’t shake is the question he posed - WHO ARE YOU FOLLOWING? The book kicks off with a first century Jewish blessing that says “May you be covered in the dust of your rabbi.” You don’t have to be a first century Jewish believer or any specific faith to be able to relate to this. Why?

BECAUSE EVERYBODY IS FOLLOWING SOMEONE. OR AT LEAST SOMETHING.

We’re all followers.
We’re all being influenced in some way.
The question isn’t am I a follower or…am I being influenced?

The question becomes WHO ARE YOU FOLLOWING? WHO ARE YOU BEING INFLUENCED BY?

And this is what I wanna dig into today with a quick pep talk and maybe a few gut checks along the way.

LET’S DIVE IN. 🖤

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It’s a wild time we live in with social media and the access to truly almost ANYONE at the click of a button. I mean, think about it. Just 15 or so years ago if you were a first time mom in a random town in Michigan, you would only have the example of your lineage of moms (think your mom, grandma, great grandma, aunts, etc) and then the example of the handful of moms in your community (think PTA and the other moms at the playground). If you needed advice or inspiration or a recipe or any wealth of opinions on all things parenting, there were only a few options to go to unless you read magazines or went to your local library. And even more important for today’s conversation…if you were inclined to compare your parenting style with someone else’s there wouldn’t be that many women to go off of.

Today, we have the world at our fingertips and we can CONSTANTLY be influenced based on who we choose to follow. This doesn’t just go for parenting, although that’s a really easy example to grab onto and there’s some real depth in that. But this could also look like when I was in HS… I never had to compare my prom dress with anyone other than the girls in my school. In college… I couldn’t actually SEE the experience my friends were having at other schools…I only had mine. When I graduated and became a teacher… I wasn’t comparing my classroom and creativity to every other teacher account out there.

As much as it feels like social media has always been a thing…for the majority of women who listen in to this podcast, it really hasn’t. You know what life was like before and you know what life is like now, as a result.

And let me be honest…I LOVE social media. I truly do. It’s where I meet so many of you and connect with ya’ll. It’s where I can show my day to day and be real, raw, and authentic. It’s where I can choose to show up and shine light and inspire beauty in the lives of others. It’s where I build my business, brand, and voice. There are so many AMAZING pieces of social media. And. There’s a lot I’ve had to check myself with over the years…esp bc I don’t just live my personal life on social media, it’s a piece of my business model too. Maybe you can relate to that, too. My work AND my life kind of co-exist in this space…or CAN co-exist if I decide to let it be so.

THERE ARE TWO PIECES TO THIS PUZZLE:

I have to constantly check HOW I SHOW UP ON SOCIAL and the INFLUENCE I INEVITABLY HAVE OVER OTHERS.
AND. I HAVE TO CHECK HOW I INTERACT ON SOCIAL + WHO I ALLOW TO INFLUENCE ME.

So let’s talk about both.

FIRST OFF. HOW ARE YOU CHOOSING TO INFLUENCE OTHERS?

You might hear me say “influencer” and you immediately feel like “nope…that’s not me,” but I PROMISE YOU that you have influence over anyone who’s eyes make it to your page, story, or feed.

The words you choose to say or not say.
The images you show.
The images you choose not to show.
What you share or find of value.

Everything you do is of influence to others. If you choose to show up only when life is good and live out the high-light reel…then it’s hard for people to think your life has any lows. And on the flip, if you choose to only show up when things go wrong and air your dirty laundry out on social with no real message to grab other than life sucks, others’ might begin to believe that your influence leans more towards negativity, right? And I’m not here today to tell you one way or another to show up. That’s on you. But it IS your job to decide if that’s in ALIGNMENT with how you desire to influence others.

For me…I want others to remember that they aren’t alone. I want to normalize things like mental illness and imperfection and the process of progress. I want to show the messy middle of things and also the full journey from start to finish. I want to be inspiring. I want to be authentic. I want to be silly and kind and serious and inclusive. So with that in mind, that’s how I choose to show up on social and influence others. As an ex elementary school teacher, I know that people are always watching - kids, sure, but adults as well. And I want my example to be one worth following. I take that seriously ya know?

And again…this is how I choose to show up on social and it feels true for ME. You have to decide what that looks like for YOU, but also…even if you’re like “social media isn’t my thing” there are so many people from your family to your coworkers to your friends to the person next to you in traffic that you are influencing simply in how you show up in the world. So ask yourself…HOW AM I CHOOSING TO INFLUENCE OTHERS?

But the second is WHO ARE YOU ALLOWING TO INFLUENCE YOU?

One of the biggest gut checks I give myself is to look at the explore page on Instagram and see what pops up. The algorithm is constantly trying to figure out what will keep you in the app the longest. That’s social media’s biggest goal…how can I keep this person here for the most time possible? And they learn what keeps you scrolling and clicking by what YOU SCROLL + CLICK ON. So the explore page is a great place to see “am I living in alignment with what matters most to me?”

I did this test today bc I wanted to show in real time what that looks like. My explore page looks like:

Motivational inspo
Business tips like trending audio, AI stuff, etc.
DIY ideas
Comedy things bc I’ve been deep in a rabbit hole of funny reels lately.
Growth based personal development + wellness stuff.

All things I’m proud of and love that I’m keeping in my face, ya know?

But then I stumbled upon some things that weren’t in alignment with me and where I desire to go. And all this reveals is that whatever I’ve CONSUMED on my FEED lately has led the algorithm to think this is what I want to see more of.

So what am I trying to say?

Friends. YOU ARE MORE IN CONTROL OVER WHAT INFLUENCES YOU THAN YOU THINK YOU ARE. But you have to be AWARE. What’s getting your TIME + ATTENTION on the apps you use? Are you consuming or are you contributing? There’s a reason they call it a FEED. Your scroll of choice is like that bag of chips you just can’t stop snacking on. You’re FEEDING on social…and how’s it leaving you? Still hungry? Still wanting more? Buying something and then realizing you didn’t really need it? Trying her skin care routine only to realize you were fine with your own? Filling your brain with things that aren’t moving you towards a life of joy, peace, fulfillment, contribution, and growth? What are you FEEDING ON? And how is it leaving you? My loving husband reminded me, too, that “you can fast on your feed.”

Take your power back. Start following accounts that are a HECK YES when it comes to growing you as a human being. Follow accounts that leave you better than they found you. And don’t be afraid to hit UNFOLLOW or UNFRIEND if it’s anything different. Right now…more than ever…we have to FIGHT to cultivate the circle of our influence…esp bc that circle has grown so so big.

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Last thing I want to leave you with as I wrap up today. Back to the book I was reading to kick off the year…

EVERYONE IS FOLLOWING SOMETHING. EVERYONE IS BEING INFLUENCED. What are you being influenced BY?

In first century Jewish culture and in their educational system…kids would go to school from ages 5 - 12 studying the Torah. At that point, most all of the children would stop school, go home, and work for the family business or farm. Only the best and brightest would go on to the second level of education to study farther and even then, most of them would be released from school at age 17 to “go make babies.” Only the best of the best of the best…think Ivy league type students would apply to apprentice under a Rabbi (or teacher). And if that rabbi thought you had what it took to one day become a rabbi yourself, he would say something like “come follow me.” If you’re familiar with the Christian faith you know this is something Jesus asked his followers to do, too, bc he was, in fact, a rabbi. If you were one of the lucky few in the Jewish culture to become an apprentice, your life centered around FOLLOWING VERY CLOSELY behind your rabbi. Whatever he did, you would do. If a rabbi decided to go to the market, his students would follow. And if a rabbi decided to go to another town, his students would follow. If the rabbi needed to visit someone sick in the area, his students would follow. When the rabbi slept, his students would sleep. When the rabbi ate, his students would eat. They were with him every step of every day. So much so that they say the students were “COVERED IN DUST.”

I don’t know but I just LOVE that imagery. Covered in dust. And I know this is from first century Jewish culture which I truly know very little about. But I do know this.

Friends. We are ALL covered in dust. We are all following SOMEONE or SOMETHING very closely.

Maybe it’s an account on social media.
Maybe it’s a sports team.
Maybe it’s that mom group on Facebook.
Maybe it’s that entrepreneur who you admire.
Maybe it’s your friends and family.
Maybe it’s complete strangers.
Maybe it’s causing you to feel envy.
Maybe it’s inspiring you to level up.

We’re ALL following SOMEONE or SOMETHING. We’re all covered in dust.

My loving nudge and gut check for you today is WHO’S DUST ARE YOU COVERED IN? And if you don’t like the answer my friends, there’s good news. You can choose TODAY who you allow to have influence over your life. You can choose what gets your YES and what gets your ATTENTION each and everyday. And even more powerful…you can choose HOW YOU DECIDE to INFLUENCE OTHERS with YOUR EXAMPLE.

I’m rooting for you. And I can’t wait to see you back here next time on The SELF CARE Sisterhood Podcast. 🖤🤟🏼

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